Sunday we planned family time for the evening of the 4th. Today she decides she does not want to have family time as she does not want to get anyones hopes up. I asked her whose hopes, She said Daughters. I said so does this mean no more family time ever. No I just don't want to get anyones hopes up. I said OK whose, mine. She said anyones. Mine, yours, daughters. I said, don't worry about me, I'm a big boy. She said, I just thinks its a bad idea.<P>I said, I understand how you feel, and respect your decision, have a great time with the kids.<P>I dod good, EH? <P>This sucks, she takes two stps towards me and then runs away. How long....<P><BR>

JK - yep - pretty good.<P>But, the absolutely A-1, prefect, squeaky clean Plan A response would have been (IMHO):<P>Her: No, I changed my mind, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up.<P>You: OK, I understand, maybe something later in the week.<P><BR>Yep- this sucks.<BR>WAT

JK,<P>She doesn't know what she wants. Mine waffled between wanting to do things with the kids, and then doing exactly what yours just did. On more than one occassion, she said it was going to confuse the kids, but yet she continued to want family time here and there, as long as it fit her schedule.<P>And now that I went to Plan B, the first response I got via voice mail was how unfortunate that we can't do things with the kids.<P>So, this will continue to change...that is my guess.<P>You've just got to take it as it comes, vent to us, Plan A, and when the time is right, if that doesn't all work, then Plan B.<P>But I hope you don't get to the point of doing B. Hang in there.<P>At least know that what she is doing is very common. You can't evaluate it with logic, because that doesn't work. You know that already.<P>And you did good not LBing.

This is when "we all" feel like throwing in the towel.<P>Keep in mind that this conversation comes on the heels of her suggesting she sleep over on Sunday night, than calls me back when she goes home to discuss the physical/sexual tension between us.<P>UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<P>Now I get how hard this is. Patience and Pace.<P>JK<P><BR>

And another thing, On Sunday she requested that I not do any childrens activities with any of my daughters playmates whose mothers may be divorced. Guess what, She is spending July 4th evening with daughters playmates and their divorced father. <P>Go figure???<p>[This message has been edited by JK (edited July 03, 2001).]

Hi JK - I'm at screaming point with my WH too! I think I need to superglue my lips together because I'm getting dangerously close to LB'ing! There are a lot of very bad words in my journal at the moment - that really a nice English lady like me should NOT know LOL!!!<P>Hang in there <P>hugs, Paint.

Paint, (((((((((((())))))))))))<P>You too, Hang in there. When I feel like LB'ing, I remember that each time I do it sets me back some period of time. and depending on how bad i do, it sets me back longer. <P>This is a really powerful motivator for not LB'ing. As we all want this over ASAP.<P>Today was a major setback for me, as W was definately coming closer, in fact I thought we might "do it" tomorrow night. on top of everything else now i don't have any plans for tomorrow night. <P><BR>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Paintbox:<BR><B>Hi JK - I'm at screaming point with my WH too! I think I need to superglue my lips together because I'm getting dangerously close to LB'ing! There are a lot of very bad words in my journal at the moment - that really a nice English lady like me should NOT know LOL!!!<P>Hang in there <P>hugs, Paint.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Yep, more stuff right out of the script. One of the first things my wife said to me when she dropped the "I'm leaving" bombshell was that we should not ever introduce the kids to a new person until at least a year, and until we are sure it is long term. She issued a disclaimer that if it was someone that was part of a group, and they just happened to be around with all the other people, then it was OK.<P>Of course OM is part of her group of cronies/morons, so she managed to justify all her sickening behavior.<P>Bet if I started hanging out with a new woman and the kids were talking about her all the time, she'd not be so open to this. However, I'll take the high ground.<P>I've said this before, but I think you are doing good. You also know by now what a rollercoaster this is. Expect crazy things from one day to the next, and you'll be more prepared.

JK:<P>If Berlitz ever does a Fogese/English-English/Fogese dictionary, it will be a bestseller.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL