I have to give my kids a note to give to my wife tomorrow AM, to provide her with the address of the new childcare provider.<P>Do I sign my name, or sign my name and say "Love <me>", or not sign it at all. It will just be a printed page from my computer.<P>To recap, no intermediary is feasible for us, so this is how I must communicate this information to avoid contact.<P>Thanks for advice.

Rick37,<P>AS youknow I am still early in plan A, but let me think, hmmmmm.<P>Does she know who the note is from??????????<P>Plan B, hellooooooo<P><BR>IMHO, if you don't put anything it will reinforce your position. THis is what you want right??? Her to get that you are serious.<P>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rick37:<BR><B>I have to give my kids a note to give to my wife tomorrow AM, to provide her with the address of the new childcare provider.<P>Do I sign my name, or sign my name and say "Love <me>", or not sign it at all. It will just be a printed page from my computer.<P>To recap, no intermediary is feasible for us, so this is how I must communicate this information to avoid contact.<P>Thanks for advice.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Just right down the new address and state what it's for if she won't know by just looking at it. Make it very informal.

Rick:<P>Print it, give it to the kids. She knows darned well who it is from. Plan B to the max.<P>[Just wanted to add: there is no such thing as a dumb question, Plan B or otherwise, except the one that isn't asked.]<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited July 03, 2001).]

Wow. I was going to say, sign it Love, Rick. But others seem to say don't put your name at all... Hmmm... I am learning I guess.<P>If it was me, I would still put Love, HbH, guess I am not the hardcore plan B type, huh?<P>What did you decide to do? The others are probably right to not write anything.

Ohhhh gosh Rick.. Thank you for an easy question this time. Heres' my take on it ....<P>If you sign it with your name or "love," with your name, are you meeting a need of hers? Hmmmmm?????<P>Ha ha on you .. I answered your question with a question. lol<P>Lv,<BR>Jo

OK, we'll call it a best of seven, and that means series over....printed and NOT signed with anything.<P>Thanks all.<BR>

Rick, <P>Good decision!! I can tell from the question, you are struggling and love her very much!! Stay strong and like STL said...Plan B to the max!! Keep the faith!<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I have to give my kids a note to give to my wife tomorrow AM, to provide her with the address of the new childcare provider.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I agree with the others that you should not sign your name. However, IMHO, it is inappropriate to use the children to give notes to the ex.<P>Do it yourself or have another adult do it. Do not put your children in the middle.

Grandpabri:<P>In Rick's case, he drops the kids off, so the kids can carry a note to her.<P>It's not like he has to prime them for a secret rendevous. Plan B means no contact ... not even to hand her the note. If there were another adult available, that would be an alternative.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

I'll just expand on what STL jumped in to say.<P>The general Wednesday routine is that my wife picks them up at my place. Before Plan B, I'd come outside, and strap my 3 year old in the car. I would have already walked my 5 year old to school.<P>Tomorrow, they'll both be home. I'm planning on remaining inside and sending them outside together, where their Mom can meet them.<P>It is usual for there to be a bag of stuff exchanged between us at this time. Usually, I'd put in in the car. Tomorrow my 5 year old can carry it. It will contain the bathing suit that is normally at my wife's place, and a few toys that the kids like to keep with them. There is always an item or two that gets to the other house, such as school stuff, toys, etc. Sometimes left at the babysitters because one dropped off, but it is switch day so the other picks them up.<P>The note will just be added to the "stuff".<P>I would never place the kids in the middle of this, and this particular use of the kids to transport the note is transparent to them.<P>Just thought I'd clarify what I meant.<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited July 03, 2001).]

DO NOT USE THE KIDS AS AN INTERMEDIARY.<P>If you must communicate with her, then do it as little as possible to get your info/message across. Be polite and to the point. Avoid small talk & chit chat.<P>Sign your name.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Wow, all you guys stay up WAY too late for me. The game was stopped for rain, then WHAMO! Did you hear the sound of my head hitting the pillow?<P>Rick, you got to the right conclusion, I think, and look at all the thoughts on your "silly" question. There can be nothing trivial about any of this.<P>BTW, in our legal separation, which is based on some popular boilerplate, there is a stipulation that our <son> cannot be used as a messenger. I fully understand this was not your proposal.<P>An alternative for you could have been sending an e-mail? After all, isn't this what your letter said? Not saying this was the best method, because I think you arrived at the best answer. Just thoughts.<P>Keep up the good work. I'm taking notes - see you soon.<P>WAT