Well, after another weekend of turmoil...hubby left this morning without even stopping to say goodbye. He left a voice message apologizing for getting angry on the boat. First time he has ever done that!!<P>Went to my son's baseball game tonight...and afterwards stopped at the store to buy milk. When putting the groceries in the trunk of my car, my son picks up a Jack Daniel's bottle from the trunk. <P>Looks like my husband is back to his alcoholic ways. How very sad. We found some bottles hidden in the garage also. He has always had a problem with alcohol, but now it seems like he has started drinking again. Wonder how the airlines will like that? <P>He is really on a road to self-destruction. I am starting to feel sorry for him. Does he know what a mess he is getting himself into? The only time he drove my car was last weekend when he took the kids swimming. I can't believe he would do that with the kids in the car. He is really messing up. Looks like he is facing a lot more issues than just this affair. What is going on with him? He could put his whole life in jeopardy. I don't know whether to talk to his parents about this or not. They probably would't believe me anyway. Someone needs to confront him tho. I know he won't listen to me. How sad.

MNM:<P>Darn. Alcohol problems make it all that much more difficult.<P>Know that our prayers are with you and yours,<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

I just can't believe he would do that again. He has had so many problems with alcohol in the past. He is definitely not a happy drunk. Once he starts drinking--it tends to get really bad. How sad for him.<P>I sure don't want my kids around that tho. It probably explains some of his erratic behavior that he has had at home also. I thought it was just the guilt over the affair. He is a mean drunk. It explains a lot.

I wish I could get him into some counseling...something is definitely going on with him. It has to be more than a mid-life crisis. With his erratic behavior, I am worried about him. What happened to my husband? Why is he doing this? What causes someone to become so self-destructive?<BR>

Hi MnM,<P>I'd like to reply and share some threads from another poster on the d/d board. Her user name is BrambleRose and she has helped some understand about alcoholism. <P>Here is that info:<P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008989.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008989.html</A> <P>[url]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/003065.html[url]<P>Here is the one with many references:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009328.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/009328.html</A> <P>I hope some of this info is helpful. BrambleRose is going through a lot but she usually can give a friendly word or two to help out. <P>I am sorry you have having to deal with this issue as well as the A. That is like a double whammy. Still it is important to keep you strong. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited July 03, 2001).]

Thanks for the references. I knew he was drinking these last couple of months...but not these hidden bottles. He used to do that 20 years ago. I thought he had learned.<P>He know how bad that is for him...he has had some pretty bad consequences in the past from his drinking. He has never admitted he is an alcoholic tho--just a problem drinker. Now that he is hiding licquor tho--that is another story. <P>He has also started chewing tobacco again. He used to smoke, then quit when the AF disapproved. After his first affair, he started chewing--disgusting habit. Then he quit that and really went through hell getting off of it. Now he is chewing again. This is from someone who highly values physical fitness and nutrition. <P>All these addictive behaviors, women, alcohol and tobacco. What would make him do this all over again? Is it just because he is in transition from the high powered military career to the civilian world. Is he that unhappy, or is he depressed or what? He sure looks awful!! <P>He has called me twice and left messages on my cellphone. Both times he said he had a great time with us yesterday on the boat. He apologized for his temper outburst and said that he loved all of us---twice. Oh the ups and downs of this emotional roller coaster ride. I still love him though. What a mess. The alcohol issue has really got me scared. I can't believe he is doing that again....