To finish my story. My H completely changed, he was on his knees asking for forgiveness and how truly sorry he was for making such a foolish decision. He said what the world has to offer, i don't want. He said I want you, our life, our family. He was the one who suggested counseling,not me. He said that I had won his heart back and he would do anything to help us heal from this. he said that we were going to make it through this and that we will be ok. of course i said i wanted to work it out as well. I love him very much, just have a lousy way of showing it. we have an appt. on Friday with Steve Harley. Were both all little nervous about it. So far, he hasn't been to a bar that i know of. At least not here. my question, do i ask him not to ever go into a bar unless i'm with him? or if i know who he is with?? and i could get a hold of him quickly? Should i ask if this was the only time this has happened? or should i ask if he's been doing this for awile? I haven't said any of this to him. when I talk to him i try to be upbeat and positive. I do have my momemts when i cry. he just wipes my tears away and holds me. He again tells me how sorry he is that he has caused me such pain. I'm not in a glass bubble either. I am fully aware that he could be lying to save his own skin. Anyhow, any advice i would very much appreciate.

Hi Paytonrose,<P>Your questions will be answered by the emotional needs questionnaire. Sounds like that could be a learning experience both you and your H could do together. Your session with Steve will help you find the rest of those answers. <P>Understanding your emotional needs and how your H can meet them is critical to being in recovery. Your H sounds better than most at this point and that is good. You will feel angry and frustrated even though he may be trying his best. You see you will be in recovery of sorts yourself. You will both need to have patience with each other. <P>Vent here. Read our posts and reply so we know whether we are able to help you or not. <P>L.<BR>