Has anyone downloaded the book from divorcebusters.com, written by a psychologist, that tells you exactly what to say to a spouse that wants a divorce? It claims to give you just the right response to make them change their minds. Has anyone tried it? Did it work?

58:<P>Sorry, I haven't, but I was going to check out the URL you gave, and it doesn't seem to work. Could you check it? I'd like to take a look at the site. Just off the top of my head though, that sounds like a pretty grandiose claim...<P>Ish

Are you refering to "Divorce Busting" or "How to stop your divorce"? I have read both books.<P>In "How to stop your divorce", the author basically says that when your spouse asks for a divorce, simply reply, "I would rather work on our marriage. I understand that you want a divorce. I'll help you pack your things". I'm not sure this works. The authors entire premise is to agree with whatever your spouse says. The reasoning behind it is that they will expect you to disagree with them. If you agree with them, they won't get the response they expected and will begin to question what they said in the first place.<P>"Divorce Busting" is a book about identifying the problems and finding ways to solve them without in depth analysis of the their root causes. It's not so much about infidelity issues. It's a good book. I started out on the "Divorce Busting" website before I discovered my W's affair. If interested, check out <A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com." TARGET=_blank>www.divorcebusting.com.</A> <P>sad dad

58:<P>Hello,<BR>I have been following the Divorcebusting site for about 6 months now. While I can not say that my marriage is 100% restored, I can say that the book and the website I have helped me make postive changes for myself. This site has given me so much control and self confidence over my emotions and actions. I have to admit that I have not applied all Divorcebusting tactics whole-heartly, but nontheless it has made such a difference in my life. Good luck!!!<BR>Wezzie

Chazzy58,<P>I read DB and met with a SBT counselor before I selected MB. I have to tell you both are good programs, I felt my WS would be more receptive to MB. <P>After one telecounseling session with Steve H I felt much better,more in control and teh concept of a marraige coach is just what I need in this situation. A coach is someonewho teached you what to do, amkes adjustments for what the other party does an keeps you motivated and on your game plan throught the season.<P>Both Identify problems wiht the BS and provide tools correct destructive behavior. DB is more mainstream, also some of the posts on their messageboards were IMHO less that helpful and even counter productive. I have not seen that here.<P>I suggest reading allof the Harley books and the DB book.<P>Good Luck<P>JK<BR>Good luck with your

Yes, I have read the book and spent much time at that website in the past.<P>Basically DBing, tries to get you to look at things from the leavers point of view. And, if whatever it is you are doing is not working, stop doing it and do something different. Makes sense to me.<P>Ex: if you keep throwing up the affair in your spouses face and everything explodes.....STOP throwing up the affair in spouses face....it's not working.