Just picked up the kids form her house, she informs me she has no plans for tonight but does not want to do a family thing, (rejection).<P>Two articles of clothing of his were out folded on a chair, obviously she is returning them to him. I conftonted her, and she kind of laughted.<P>I said "it dose'nt matter, we'er getting divorced anyway,(this is how I feel today). I put the kids in the car. realize I only have one sippy cup. Go back and ask her if aI can have a couple. AS I loook in her house I see things that I pickedout when we decorated our first house. and say ,I think its time we start splitting things up,like these paintings and stuff. She says, your being and A-hole, leave, I say why, if we're getting a D them we need to get seroius about splitting things up. She says, your just pissed because you saw his clothes. I said, whats teh difference , we are getting a D right?<BR> She say's yep.<P>I left. I'm so pissed, I don't know how I'm gonna regroup for these kids.<P>JK<P>

Just some added fun, I recoginized one of the shirts as one she wore to my house on a Friday morning to pickup the kids about a month ago, Hmmm, I wonder where she was on Thursday night.

JK,<P>You are doing well most of the time, and you should reread your own posts from last night. You've got to bite your tongue when these situations take place, then come tell us about it. You'll feel better when you get positive feedback on what a great job you did.<P>I understand the feeling of wondering if you can ever be intimate with your W again. But, I just don't think about that. It doesn't matter unless she wants to come back, and you and I know that won't happen unless we Plan A and avoid LBs. You can't lost sight of the fact that she is not thinking rationally.<P>All this "getting a D" stuff is fogese. We've all heard it.<P>I hope you pull it together and focus on not LBing as you move forward.<P>We're here for you and want to help. Your situations seems like one that has a good chance to make it, in my opinion. But it is how you Plan A and follow the MB principles that has a large impact on whether you can reconcile. I'd not worry about the obstacles that you have to overcome if she wants back. One step at a time, and first is to get to that point. Then the ball is in your court.<P>Hang in there. The lows are very low, but you can come out of them.

Rick 37<P>I called her to ask what time th kids ate, i was very pleasent and upbeat. Have fun at work, make lots of $$ and have a great day!1 not mention of conversation.<P>She shid in a very pleasent voice THanks.<P>NOw I just found out this morning that our old baybsitter (20) and HOT! (She has parental problems). SHe sleep over at my W's a lot. I did'nt notice any covers on the couch, Dare I ask??? I could really be missing out now? just kidding.<P><BR>I have to see W at 4PM , any recovery suggestions form LB's this AM?<P>JK<P>

I used to fret over who would get what, and how would we agree to divide stuff we both wanted, etc. Since I have the house and pretty much everything from our marriage right now, my lawyer said to take a piece of paper, divide it in half lengthwise, and put each name at the top of the columns. I went room by room, putting down what I thought would be a fair property division for my husband to look over. You know what? I don't even want the mutual stuff from our marriage. He can have just about all of it. I want back what I brought in, and whatever had been given to me personally through the years. All the things I thought I would obsess over really don't mean anything to me any more. Maybe it's getting a little easier to let go.<P>Nell

Just casually asked daughter about babysitter,<BR>She said they have girls aonly sleepovers in mommys bed, the three of them.<P>Interesting, just goes to show how assumptions can get us in trouble.<P><BR>JK

JK:<P>If the topic of the earlier LBs come up, just say tell her you are sorry you spoke from your hurt; that it isn't how you REALLY feel.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

STL,<P>Good advice, I will use it but only if she brings its up.<P>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SeenTheLight:<BR><B>JK:<P>If the topic of the earlier LBs come up, just say tell her you are sorry you spoke from your hurt; that it isn't how you REALLY feel.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

JK,<P>As per STL. You can bring it up and mention that, or let it rest, but reply if she says anything.<P>I'm glad that you are attempting to recover from it. Good sign.<P>You know, oddly enough, some of the only conversations we ever had where she'd say "I might be back", or similar stuff, came on the heels of an LB discussion where I confronted about the affair. Hasn't happened in a long time (January), but it was always strange how she'd become "friendly". Probably just sensed that I might pull away, so wanted to play games.<P>However, I don't recommend LBs like that. Better to stick to a good Plan A.

Nell,<P>I'm not really concerned about "stuff", I just want to give her a dose of reality as she is living in a fog filled fantasy world. And giving her a dose of reality is not what plan A is about. SO I LB'ed.<P>STL,<P>What do you think about me saying? Sorry about this AM, I was caught off guard, obviously I have a lot more work to do on me.<P>Then leave it at that.<P>JK