MP:<P>Not sure of the age of your children. If they raise the issue of "daddy being gone" tell them that daddy has some thinking to do. How far you go, depends upon their age, and upon your circumstance.<P>With my exW, her behavior was very, very blatant (and we were in a small town). My children [were] old enough to see what was going on and to know that what their mother was doing was wrong.<P>Since they recognized this, I told them, as lovingly and gently as possible. We talked about sin. We talked about forgiveness. We talked about pain. I reassured them (after they voiced it) that it wasn't their fault. We then prayed daily for her recovery (from the affair and from her drinking problem).<P>My exW found out eventually and blew a major fuse. I just told her calmly: "I will not live your lie nor alibi for you. You are not here to live with the daily pain you have caused. If you wish to tell them otherwise, then you should be here to answer those questions and share their pain."<P>She was furious still, but had no response.<P>The pain lingers still in my children: divorce does that. I know from personal experience ... my father's total abandonment of his family still has an impact 34 years after the fact. It is an aspect of these types of situations that often gets tragically overlooked.<P>Whew. Longwinded response. The short answer: tell them in terms they can understand. Then just love them continuously and tell them you will be there for them.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited July 05, 2001).]
