Sometimes I have discussions with my wife about having opposite sex friends. She does not like very much if some lady friend phones me and we talk nonsense for 20 minutes. It can just be a long term friend of the family or a school mother or anything like that. I can see my wife's point. But in the working world there are bound to be many opposite relationships that are caused just because we work together. Should we avoid being too friendly with the opposite sex if we are married and only do it when necessary in order to avoid affairs? Why do we need night time opposite sex friends? Is it necessary because we chose the wrong mate? Shouldn't our marriage partner be good enough? Do different cultures view opposite sex relationships in a different way?

Its OK to have friends of the other sex but it has to be within the context of your marriage. That is, your W should know about them, you should share them with your W, you should not meet persons of the other sex on a one to one basis, certainly not in date type surroundings (dinner, movies, dance, etc). You should certainly never discuss the failings of your W to one of these friends or other intimate details of your marriage. That is nothing other than the famous "my wife doesn't understand me" gambit. <P>I think you have to be very careful with friends of the other sex. Your wife should be your best female buddy. If you are getting too friendly with another woman you are looking to fulfill emotional needs with someone who is not your W - you are well underway to an ema then, because a woman can add something extra a guy cannot. Don't fool yourself that your married status protects you. It may do for a while but also gives a false sense of security. And lastly, don't forget that there are always those men and women who are not friends at all, but see you as a bit of a challenge precisely because you are married. <P>So yeah, I can understand your wife's irritation. You are striking up an emotional bond with another woman while you should be paying attention to her. Hey, even if you don;t end up having an EMA, she might precisely because you are not giving her the right kind of attention! <P>So my advice: married couples should stick to other couples or friends of the same sex. If you have any female friends, your W should know them all. <P><B>Why do we need night time opposite sex friends?</B><P>What does this mean? It sounds very ominous.<P>

By night time opposite sex friends I meant that during the day because of work etc. we may have to interact with opposite sex friends. But at night time I see little reason to have opposite sex friends unless they are a couple that you go out with together.