trueheart asked about me in JKs thread, so here is the update.<P>To answer your question, July 4 child exchange was OK, but here is what I posted about it:<P>My 3 year old daughter. I always strapped her in Moms car. I hugged them both and kissed them, and sent them through the door to meet Mommy. My 3 year old came back, and said:<P>"Aawwww, Daddddddyyyyyyyy, noooooooooo, I want you to put me in like you always do."....I said "no honey, Mommy is going to do it today". Couple more "Ahhhhh, Daddyyyyyyy", but then she left. I felt like Frosty the snowman in the hot sun.<P>It really was pretty flawless though. And since then, there has been no attempt at WS contacting me. Hanging up after both kids say goodnight, and my wife did same when I called her place. So she is respecting my wishes.<P>She is off for a 1 week vacation with her friends (I think it is more than OM). It is great for me, because I have the kids for the next 11 days. I timed my Plan B so this would give her lots of time to miss them, AND not talk to me, which she was used to.<P>I'm doing fine right now, after the rough edges at the start of Plan B.<P>I'll not be on as much starting tomorrow, till next Sunday, since I'll be taking the kids to see my parents (11 hours away). They have a slow dialup connection, so I'll be around some (probably more than I think!).<P>My children are very excited.<P>Thanks for asking about me trueheart.<P>And once again, thanks everyone for easing my transition into Plan B.<BR>

Rick, if you don't mind, can you recap how you knew exactly when to go to Plan B? Did something specific happen?<P>Thanks,<BR>zen

Well, when I first joined MB, it was all turbulence, continuous new discoveries, denials from her, the usual classic scenario. Keyboard tracking, learning sickening stuff she was writing to OM, etc. When I first wrote about "maybe going to Plan B" people told me that I would just "know". That is essentially true, and it isn't from one event.<P>I think that you do it when you know you have nothing left to accomplish in Plan A, and also when you feel your love so low that you don't know if you have enough left for your spouse to want to recover. Perhaps I left it a little late....my Plan A went on for about 10 months, but I was essentially doing it before I found MB, so about a year. I will say that some most recent events did give me that final nudge to make the switch....more lies, and I was just tired of being exposed to them. I want peace and honesty.<P>There is a part of me that wishes I could have done it as soon as she moved out, because she stayed here for 5 months after telling me she was leaving me. That was really enough Plan A time, but in my case, there were so many things to be sorted out (won't get into them - house, taxes, daycare, etc.) that Plan B would have been really hard to enforce. When she left would have been the maximum shock effect for her, but instead she was allowed to drift and coast into this lifestyle we have now.<P>In summary, you do it when you have no energy left to Plan A, OR you can't accomplish any more in Plan A, and when you feel your love slipping away, and you are thinking that you might not even be able to take your spouse back. It is also about sanity and moving on. You don't want to stay in limboland forever, so by doing this you are truely separating and preparing yourself for the possibility that you won't reconcile, while avoiding further love unit draining and avoiding all the bull and lies that go with affairs.<P>I hope this helps a bit. Oh yea, one more thing....you also know it is time when you don't have to wonder if it is the right time. You just know.<BR>

Thanks Rick....<P>Just wanted to make sure you were doing ok!! Have a great trip with the kids and enjoy the time away and the support from family!! We are with you my friend!<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart

Have a great time with your kids Rick, I'm glad that Plan B is going OK. I must admit I'm already feeling quite relieved that I've gone down the same path now!<P>hugs, Paint.