HbH:<P>You can do it!<P>Prayers and thoughts with you,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL

HbH...<P>We are with you! We know what you are going through and you have the support of every MBer here, no matter what you need and/or decide! Know that before, during, and after that meeting, we are waiting here with open arms and big shoulders should you need us for a hug or an ear!!<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart

hbh,<BR>I wish I could give you some "light went on" advice. Meet with him, if he plays games, tell him not to contact you until he is ready with a decision.<P>I know this is so hard on you, we are praying for you. hugs, aftershock<P>

HurtbyHubby.......I'm pulling for you honey! Hang tough and remember above all else......Plan A, Plan A, Plan A Try not to throw any LB's out there. <P><BR>Good luck to you and be strong......<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

I'm away this week at my parents with the kids, and a slow internet connection, but I'm thinking of you and wish you the best. I'll be back to check how it is going.

Hey Hurt!<P>1. Don't anticipate...even the worst.<BR>2. Don't preplan conversation or replies.<BR>3. He invited you to his party...let him start...<BR>4. Take ALL the time you need to answer him or to initiate a new 'thread' of conversation. (How would I normally say this...filter for LB's...is it an 'I' statement...do I 'need' to say it?)<BR>5. repeat what he says to you for clarification...(so what you're saying to me is....)<BR>6. breathe...breathe...breathe....breathe...breathe...breathe.<BR>7. don't ever let him see you 'sweat'!<P>That's all I can think of for now...I may be back!<P>Cali

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JustPlainCali:<BR><B>Hey Hurt!<P>1. Don't anticipate...even the worst.<BR>2. Don't preplan conversation or replies.<BR>3. He invited you to his party...let him start...<BR>4. Take ALL the time you need to answer him or to initiate a new 'thread' of conversation. (How would I normally say this...filter for LB's...is it an 'I' statement...do I 'need' to say it?)<BR>5. repeat what he says to you for clarification...(so what you're saying to me is....)<BR>6. breathe...breathe...breathe....breathe...breathe...breathe.<BR>7. don't ever let him see you 'sweat'!<P>That's all I can think of for now...I may be back!<P>Cali</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><I> PS...just because I write this doesn't mean I agree you should meet him...he is manipulating you...but, I totally understand that only you know your H the best, and have to make the decision best for you and your family. Cali </I><P>

Okay .. I am so lost here. Did I miss the part where HBH's hubby said "YES", I want to talk about reconciliation or recovery?<P>Because if he hasn't said that or even elluded to that, then why is she meeting with him?<P>Jo

Resilient:<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hurtbyhubby:<BR><B>Thank you everyone. This is very difficult. I am sick of playing email games, he won't give in and agree to anything. For me to continue with not answering or questioning him would just be me promoting the mind games. I hate them, I need to make them stop. I can't live like this for another 2 weeks.<P>Whether right or wrong, I have agreed to meet him tomorrow night (Monday). But I told him if his intention was just to hurt me that I would appreciate it if he cancelled.<P>Thank you everyone for your support. I will try to expect the worst. How does he keep managing to do this to me even when I am in plan B? I am anxious/worried/on the edge again. I try so hard...<P>I feel like I can't win. I can't get what I want (my H and my family back) and I can't even get what I don't want (to get on with my life while I wait for my H to work out his demons).<P>Sigh.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Cali<P>

HBH - the best advice I can think of: You're the hero, not the victim. Play the part. You ARE the part.<P>WAT

Thanks, Cali. And actually I had already read the thread you copied and pasted.<P>My question was more to get HBH to think. I don't know her H or know how he would broach the Recovery subject, I just feel that if he wanted to talk about recovery after reading her B letter, he would be able to express that in his email to her.<P>To be perfectly honest I never read her Plan B letter, so I don't know how clearly it stated she would not be willing to continue any contact unless her H was willing to explore recovery.<P>Your in my thoughts, HBH. <P>Prayers,<BR>Jo