D-Day was 7 weeks ago. Story in prevous post June 21. H is having an A. H still comes to the house every 2nd day to visit with our son. He is 39 yrs old and was living with his male friend who is 24 and living with his mother. H called the other day and sz he is moving in with a friend of ours who is 42 and has his own duplex he is never home so H will have all the privacy he wants. A month ago H was coming down for a visit with our son and I asked him to pick up a pizza when I got home here I gave him the money for it and he took the money. Yesterday H called me at work and reminded me that he was geting supper and asked me what we wanted I told him to decide so he did When I got home from work H had supper here for all three of us I gave H the money for my share of the supper and he would not except it he said he did not need it and I told him to take the money he would probably need it by next week and he said for me not to worry about it. When he came down the other day for a visit he asked me how he would get gum off of a pair of pants he wore out and there was gum on the chair. I told him how to get it off but I wanted to tell him to go ask his blonde beauty instead but I held my tounge because I have been great through all of this. A friend that I met up with the other day asked me how things were going and I told him that I told H that the ball was in his court and that if he wanted to come back and work this out I was willing. I told him that H sz how can you say that after all I have done to you and I said because "I Love You" and H just turned around and went upstairs and said nothing and my friend looked and me and made a sign of a halo above my head and said girl you really are a saint. When I was driving home that evening I thought about what he said to me and I started crying because I thought I really must be there is not alot of people out there that would do this after being hurt as bad as I have been hurt. I did not see this seperation coming an either did my son he is 12 yrs old. I am getting mixed vibes here I do not know what to believe anymore. H up and left me our son a house and everything. I went to a psyic 2 weeks ago and she said that h is having midlife crisis and that right now he really does believe that he does not love you. And that either August 2 or August 16 he is going to start coming around to get back with me (I hope she is right). And that right now he is just coming around doing the Daddy thing. I have lost 28 pounds in this 7 weeks and everyone is telling me that I look great. I went out with some friends the other night to a bar for a couple of beers (not looking to replace him not ready) So I asked him if he could stay a little later with our son until I gor home and he asked me where I was going and with who, Sunday night I went out to supper with the same girls and he asked me where I was going and with who. And if he is here and I am on the computer he walks by to see what I am doing on the computer. Ever since he left he wants to know what I am going and where I am going. If he does not love me anymore why does he keep asking is it nosey or does he really still care. Sorry for the long note. If anyone has experenced this eith WS or BS please give me some input am I holding out lost hope here<P>------------------<BR>I Still Love Him

Well it sounds like he is in the fog as they say here, keep plan A going and be patient.<P>

Dear ISLH,<P>Hm..... wants to know your every move. That is what my H used to do for different reasons:<P>1. At the beginning of his A (note: I found out about the A 3 months after it started). H would call to 'see' where I was so he knew how to plan his A. <P>2. Later, about 3 months after d/d, H would call and check up on me after I went to plan B. Kept calling to see how I was, make up stupid reasons for coming over, wanted to know if I was seeing someone and having sex with anyone. How dumb!!!! Why?!?!? To justify his A, further. <P>Irregardless of H's reason, my advice is not to let him know all the details of your life. H does not live with you, he is keeping his own business to himself so why should you validate him by giving him all your details. If you do, then what else does he need from you? H gets what he wants and still has the A. Kind of like, have his cake and eat it tooo. Hm..... think about that one. <P>Even if you are dependant on your H for babysitting. If he agrees to the time, then what you do on that time is your buisness. Tell him no more than you would any other baby sitter. Remember he is not living with you and you do not have to answer to him.... or do you? Still do this with respect and he may not like it but would have to concede since he is not living at home and does not give you that privilege of knowing all the details of his life. <P>JMHO. <P>L.<P>

Thanks for your replies Orchid and Jabber,<BR>Fog I think so too. Wednesday night when he came here from work to visit with our son soon as he came through the door he asked me if I was still going out I said yes. He was fine and we talked like ususal until I went down and got my shower when I came upstairs he would not look at me or speak to me. H sat in the chair and watched TV and chewed his fingernails and figited in the chair and when I left the house he never said goodbye. When I came home he told me my sister called and then he went out the door. I guess he thinks it is alright for him to go out but not me I guess. Now today my son is taking money from my purse and lighting matches two things that he has never even thought of doing before. He is 12 years old and he is my world and it hurts me to see him acting like this. A friend of ours said the other day that she has noticed that he is worse now than he was 7 weeks ago. He is very angry at his dad because H told him that he was only here physically for the last 6 months and when our son asked him why he strung us along that long H said that he did not know what he was doing so how could he tell us anything. Our son does not know that H is having an A it would totally do him in. I feel that it is something that he does not need to know at this point and time he is dealing with enough right now not having his dad around and he is an only child and starting Jr high School in Sept and turning 13 in Sept he has enough to deal with and so do I. If anyone has any ideas on how I can deal with my sons actions or anyone that has experienced this similiar situation please help me. It has been a bad day. Also my 14th wedding anniversary is coming up on the 25th july and I am already thinking of it that will be a hard day for sure. Thanks for listening.<P>ISLH