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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 17
C
Junior Member
Junior Member
C Offline
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 17
Hi guys & gals hope that this isn't going to offend too many people as we are all in the same boat here & speaking as a BS a couple of things I would like to say here. I have had a tough week (as you may have read in my former post) Hubby doesn't love me any more. This week has been a time for lot's of tears on both sides & lot's & lot's of reading on my side H & me are still together (decided on giving it a year to see if his feelings for me change you may say a yr is a long time & it is but because of business commitments it will be June next year b4 we can sell our property if that is what ends up happening) Anyway back to the subject. I became a BS over 10 yrs ago now & I felt all the hurt betrayal that everyone here is describing, the list could go on & on forever H felt grief striken by what he had done. The main problem has been this last 10 yrs that I just couldn't let go of the "Ghost" that seemed to haunt me day & night (this OW lives in our small village & runs the pub where we drink; the only place to socialise here) This is turning into another long post.....I was stoked that it was me that he wanted (he never left) but every time the smallest thing went wrong I was haunted by it all again & all I knew how to do was I guess what you guys call LB Every time I felt threatened by some circumstance I was on to his case big time just pick picking away until I was the one that had his attention then H reaction to this was to be mad at my reactions that I could be questioning his honesty & I just kept driving him further & further away, now it has all come back to haunt me & we are in this hopeless situation that i hope will get better (no he is not involved with her now). But one thing that seems to sometimes get overlooked is that events in our lives changed or whatever to create a gap for something like this to occour in the first place it is happening all over the world to all sorts of people & one day everything seems fine then suddenly a 10 ton truck runs over us & the S--T hits the fan big time! emotions are raw no one is thinking straight we feel very very alone & we all need some time to contemplate what lies ahead (you may all think this sounds like dribble but maybe I have a few years on some of you all with my experience being a few yrs down the track) because of the rejection I felt inferior, I was over the moon to have my man back but didn't deal with my emotions properly at the time no site like this & no family to turn to (my family have no idea that this ever happened) or even really think why it had happened I had my man but because I hated this OW guts so much I was consumed with anger most of the time especially if we were out for a drink & I had to suffer her existence at the same time & I stupidly let that eat away at me until it dragged me down & then I dragged H down so far it's gotten to this & he feels this way about me. Anyway the point to my story is be sure be very sure that you don't let this happen to you when you make things right between you & your WH or WW I can see now she just wasn't worth what has happened to us now. I know I can't FIX! this on my own it will take effort on both sides I just hope we have enough energy left to last the distance. I am not even sure if this is fixable but will give it my best shot. Felt rather sad 2 day while we were having coffee with our friends I really felt like I was on the same level as them now “just a friend” it was a very sad feeling. Wish us luck & I wish all of you the very best whatever happens.<BR>CYA <BR>Cally<BR>

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 530
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 530
Cally,<BR>It can be fixed! First thing, tell about the books you've read. Have you read Surviving an Affair? <P>Please hang in there. Now, if you have to vent any anger - do not do it directly to your H. You know that is a Love Buster (LB). If you have to vent your anger - vent it here in MB - no more LBs to your H!!!!<P>I will give you my pep talk - you have every right to be hurting - but don't give up so easily. I love your heart and soul. I hurt too - I will tell you, and I hate the OW too, so we have something in common.<P>Talk to us here. Promise, no more LBs. Be nice to your H all the time. You can turn your marriage around, you know what you want. There is no reason to lose what you have now. You love your life (such as it is), and it could be alot better. Next thing, is to bring your interests and your H interests back together. You should not feel like an outsider, over coffee. This is just something we need to work at.<P>Today, is a new day, go forward from here - positively. Don't give up, never, never give up. hugs, aftershock


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