Message Removed. Ken is too smart for me (always GREAT to be one-up)!!!!!!<p>[This message has been edited by gz1234 (edited July 11, 2001).]

G,<P>You don't have control. She has chosen to do these things away from you. If the car is for the family then that is where it must stay. <P>If she is now dependant on others, let that be. Others are not as tolerant (even with the OM) as you might be. So let them get tired of her. Even if it means her responsibility to cart your children around. The kids may not like it but that is what their mother is doing to them. <P>Reassure your children with your love. Let them know that you are there for them but can not be there for your W all the time. They will understand and work with it. They may be confused but they will eventually understand and you may be surprised how they may be towards your W. Kids are not dumb. Never underestimate their power. Don't carry this burden by yourself. You can not help your wife if she does not want to help herself. Financially, it may cause a loss, you will have to make decisions if she does not participate. This is part of the fog stuff. <P>My H had to be financially stripped before he saw how stupid he was out there. We are still reeling and playing catch up on his bills. <P>Think wise and smart. Keep a calm hear and a clear mind. Pray for it. Keep your support group handy and on standby. Let others interface for you so that you are not in this by yourself. <P>Read up on plan B. <P>L.<BR>

g:<P>Her behavior fits the "in the fog" mold that most WS fall into. None of her language or her approach is new. If there was only a way to hand them a WS script.<P>Do not expect rational behavior from her. In the midst of her affair, she will be self-justifying her behavior. Watch the love busters ... it gives them fuel to throw on the fire of justifying their actions.<P>Plan A to the best of your ability. If she persists in being adament about moving out; start giving thought to your Plan B letter (you can read more on this site about Plan A/Plan B).<P>Remember, in addition to trying to recoup your marriage, Plan A and Plan B are about improving you as well.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Message Goes HERE<p>[This message has been edited by gz1234 (edited July 11, 2001).]

gz1234<P>I believe taking the car away would fit in better in plan B but I can certainly see your reasons for this.I think it is causing real big LB's though. Unfortunately, we really can't control our WS's, so try to stay calm and remember that.The more you pressure her the more she'll want out.<P>Plan something nice for her-I know she doesn't deserve it but it will give you somewhere to channel your energy.<P>

Any suggestions, or has anyone else been in something similar?????????<P><p>[This message has been edited by gz1234 (edited July 10, 2001).]