My wife has had a on again off affair for about 2 years with the same man. He is married . His wife kicked him about 2 months ago. She says she dosent know if she wants to work on our marriage and will not stop seeing other man. I have been plan A ing for about 2 months. I believe she is living with him now but she wont say. She is really getting bad with the kids ( 5yr D & 3 yr S) . She especially is bad with our son. She only wants to take daughter places no son.. He is to much trouble and cant be good.( She says) She calls every sunday and tells me her schedule for the week when she will see kids.Do people really think there schedule is the most important thing in the world? She tries to call the kids everynight to say goodnight and when we are not here she gets really upset and tells me how important is it to her that she tells the kids goodnite?? She likes to go places with us and I have been suggesting alot of things and she usually says yes. Going to zoo today. My big question is kids and plan B. Since this affair has been going on 2 yrs. Shouldnt I try plan B?? Any other answers to my dileimia would be appreciated .

Your wife is not living with you? I am not familar with your situation. Plan A is used generally at the beginning of the d/d as a 1st choice effort. But if there is resistance to the loving acts of the Bs, then plan B is used to protect the love of the family for the family. <P>Where are you at this time? Your children seem to be suffering from your wife's actions. Her relationship is on/off with the OM? That's a plus. Now why does she get to dictate how she gets her children? Why should you inconvience your family or apologize for not being at her disposal? See where this thought pattern is going? <P>I am the W and the Bs in our relationship and it has been my experience to uphold my right to be treated with respect. When I am not, I make this known (in as pleasant a manner) to the WS (my H). He is home now but still has been disrespectful (at times) since OW won't stop calling (just had another incident yesterday I just found out this morning). YUCK!!!!<P>Retain your dignity for yourself and your family. You are the one your family is relying on to keep them together. It does put the burden on you and you can come here for support and strength. You need to create other ways to receive support also. There are several of the fathers/husbands here who are also the Bs's and they can help you even further. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<P><BR>

update: My wife lives with om. Took wife and kids to zoo it was a ok day no love busting...But when I got home parked car in driveway ( wifes car in garage) when she left she hit right in to the side of my car.. She went crazy why do you park like that oh my god you are so lazy about this....I was in house with kids she didnt look just pulled out and wham... now she sped away upset.. She really thinks everything bad that happens in her life is because of me...What shall I do??? Plan B or what.. Wife is spending alot of time with me om is to busy for her I think?? Help

update: My wife lives with om. Took wife and kids to zoo it was a ok day no love busting...But when I got home parked car in driveway ( wifes car in garage) when she left she hit right in to the side of my car.. She went crazy why do you park like that oh my god you are so lazy about this....I was in house with kids she didnt look just pulled out and wham... now she sped away upset.. She really thinks everything bad that happens in her life is because of me...What shall I do??? Plan B or what.. Wife is spending alot of time with me om is to busy for her I think?? Help