Hi all,<P>Hurtbyhubby's thread shows she needs our support. She is meeting with her H on Monday. <P>Here is her post from her thread below:<P>"This is very difficult. I am sick of playing email games, he won't give in and agree to anything. For me to continue with not answering or questioning him would just be me promoting the mind games. I hate them, I need to make them stop. I can't live like this for another 2 weeks.<BR>Whether right or wrong, I have agreed to meet him tomorrow night (Monday). But I told him if his intention was just to hurt me that I would appreciate it if he cancelled.<P>Thank you everyone for your support. I will try to expect the worst. How does he keep managing to do this to me even when I am in plan B? I am anxious/worried/on the edge again. I try so hard...<P>I feel like I can't win. I can't get what I want (my H and my family back) and I can't even get what I don't want (to get on with my life while I wait for my H to work out his demons).<P>Sigh."<P><BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010410.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010410.html</A> <P>Please help where you can. <P>Thanks,<BR>L.<BR>

HbH,<P>Your husband is not going to give you what you want - either peace or your marriage back. The only option you really have control over is to get on with your life. Do not allow him to play his email game with you.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

I replied to Hurtbyhubby on her thread. I honestly believe that Hurtbyhubby's H is trying to manipulate & control the situation. If he really had something important to say, then he would say it immediately...NOT make an appointment.<P>She is in Plan B. I think that she shouldn't meet with him unless he agrees to end the affair and commit to the marriage.<P>If she breaks her Plan B, it may be hard to go back and begin Plan B again (if that is what ends up happenning). He might not take her seriously because she broke her Plan B.<P>This is only my opinion. If she still meets him on Monday, I hope that it will work out to her benefit.<P>Hurtbyhubby: Stay strong and don't let your H make you feel guilty or try to manipulate/control the situation. Stand your ground and verbally reiterate Plan B to him.<p>[This message has been edited by Survivor [aka_NoTrust] (edited July 08, 2001).]

HBH,<P>I agree with Survivor, I feel if your H had something important to say related to recovery (remembering your Plan B letter) he would be telling you in his email to you. I believe he is attempting to manipulate you thru this meeting. Plan B is for you to get strong and allow no "NEEDS" to be met by you. You meet with him and you're meeting a need. <P>I strongly suggest you do NOT meet with him. If you do he'll feel you are not serious in your Plan B and what your letter stated.<P>HBH, I know how hard this is. But for him to tell you he agrees to recovery would be easily said in an email, even if he wants to talk about the "hows" and the "whens", all he would have to do is say it in an email "I want to talk about or explore recovery" .... then you could meet with him.<P>Please think about what we've said. Stay strong and let us know what you finally decide to do. You have hours to cancel before Monday's meeting.<P>Best,<BR>Jo