Grrrrrrrrrr<P>Just got off the phone with my W... Had to call her re: important issue. She is at a friend's house. We've been apart all weekend... I had to find her on her cell...<P>Now, this friend is a good, mutual friend. She speaks her mind and does not condone A's. But she and I have discussed before the situation and she has told me that she believes that my W never loved me. She has also told me that I loved my W way too much and let her walk all over me. She also said that I worshipped the ground my W walked on, and that I shouldn't have done that.<P>Well, it's up for debate whether or not those things are true, and if they're true, whether or not they were the right thing to do.<P>But my stomach says hi! just thinking about her talking to my W, saying those same types of things... Maybe telling her that if she is truly unhappy in our M, that she should get out. I could see her telling her that I deserve someone who will love me as much as I love her, and that it's ok if she just doesn't love me.<P>Hearing stuff from the OM can be bad, but I think hearing stuff from a friend can be deadly.<P>What do you think?<P>-zen

I agree zen. It's like they've found their own little support network going against all you're working for.<P>My WH has a scum friend that has known about his A the whole time. He's probably encouraged him, as he's a cheater himself. (He married the woman he cheated with 5 years ago and is recently divorced from her).<P>I think support from outsiders is bad news but I don't think there's much we can do about it.<P>In my case I just warned WH that if he's going to listen to advice from anyone he should consider what kind of relationships the source has.

zen:<P>See my definition of fog posted earlier. Friends not familiar with MB are readily pulled into it. So take it for what it is worth: not much.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

zen - ditto MAEZY and STL. The "never loved you" line is popular with rationalizers. I never heard it, though, but I wonder what's worse - "I never loved you", or "I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you." The latter I heard frequently in the hottest time of the affair. Haven't heard either for months now.<P>WAT

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SeenTheLight:<BR><B>Friends not familiar with MB are readily pulled into it. So take it for what it is worth: not much.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>But STL, what is worse, so-called friends who are "sucked in" and begin to feed the WS what they want to hear, but will one day go their own way, or ws's FAMILY who all TELL him the M is bad, not just sick, and to GET OUT and they have the perfect person for him!! This is what I am up against.<BR>Step-Son tells me his dad is "being pulled one way by one part of the family, and being pulled another way by another part of the family" - I don't even know what that means! I don't know any part of his family that would pull him in MY direction. They all have always tried to tell him he should just leave, because it is HIS life....not ours? Like this monumental trainwreck didn't somehow affect me TOO?<P>Lupo<BR>