Nyneve, I hope you don't mind me asking some questions about your son who tried to hang himself. My H's OW had a 14 yr old D who did hang herself. I have often wondered if her suicide were related to her mom's A with my H. I'm not sure when the A became physical, I kind of feel it was after her death. I think this trajedy is what drew them together.<P>How old was your son when he tried to do this? Do you think it had anything to do with the A? I know, hard questions. I'm so sorry for the pain you have felt, and that your son has felt.<P>Thanks for your input. Heck

Nyneve, you there?<BR>

I'm here... in the middle of something... give me a half hour, okay?

Okay...<P>My son was eight years old when he tried to hang himself. He wrapped his necklace around the handle to the slide, put his head through, and slid down... was found by another child at school, before he'd lost consciousness. His neck was raw for several days, and bruised for about two weeks. We went to the doctor (a pediatrician) and he was tested to see if he was a danger to himself. I was so scared. They aid that he'd scared himself so badly, that he would not try it again. He began therapy, and through a series of events it was determined that he'd been sexually abused by a family friend. (As had one of our daughters, who was 12 at the time) I also come from a history of sexual abuse (a family friend) and I missed the signs. Talk about guilt.<P>My ex-H's early affairs might have peripherally been a cause, since I went a little bit insane and we had to move hundreds of miles away from the OW and our families to get away from the "problem" my then-H had with keeping his yoo-hoo in his pants. Lots of pain all around. But, I guess I can't really blame the affair as much as the abuse.<P>Does this answer your questions??<P>Ask anything. My life is an open book.

I forgot to add... we did not know it at the time, but my son also had some neurological disabilities that we would later have diagnosed: epilepsy, and ADHD among them...

I'm so sorry to hear of the pain your family has been through. Do you think your son's suicide attempt brought you and your H closer or made things worse?<P>Heck

Before I answer, allow me to share just a little bit of my story. I was married 20 years to my son's father. My ex had at least five affairs, with assorted daliances with women, and I had one affair (lasted 3 months with one time in bed) in year 19 (an exit affair, I found out) and I came here to try and repair my marriage. That was two years ago. We divorced last year.<P>To answer your question: It pulled us apart. My (then)H could not accept it at all. He went into a denial that he never fully recovered from. I had to do everything completely all by myself. I was very bitter about that. I had to take my son to the doctor alone, and wait to hear if they were going to lock him away. There is much surrounding the suicide attempt, and it really would take pages of explanation... in short (if I can do it, wish me luck!) the circumstances surrounding the abuse, the disabilities, and schooling, affected our marriage, as well as the life of our son. I fought like hell for his rights, and my (then)H refused to get involved. He thought I was making a big deal out of "nothing"... that was but one looming problem in the marriage. So, as you can see, everything intertwines, but I can't point to one thing that caused an end to the marriage.