Before I posted today I told my H that all this drama stops here and now and I would no longer have contact with him and he could file for divorce. Since then I have been reading so much valuable information and reading other postings and have concluded after reading Plan A & B and Love Busters that I am very impatient and that maybe I haven't given my all to trying to make this marriage work. I want my way and that is having my H come back home and I want it now. We all now that we don't always get what we want. Maybe, just maybe if I really try to change my behavior and have no expectations of him at this point he may begin to shed new light on our situation. Tomorrow is a new day and I think I'm going to give it another try. I know that I have to definitely make some changes to meet his EN's.

Good for you cybil<P>I've been trying to take that attitude myself. Try to be a little more layed back and keep on plan Aing.<P>It's a woman's perogative to change her mind!<BR>Just make sure he continues to take you seriously.<P>Good luck to you.

Cybil,<P>Just wanted to stop by and give you support for your decision to work on yourself and your marriage some more. It’s a win/win choice. You become a better person and there is always that chance that your husband will come back and then your marriage will be richer then it ever has been.<P>Have you read the book “Surviving An Affair”? You may want to start there. It is a road map for how to start your marriage back on the road to recovery.<P>You are right that “this drama stops here and now“. You could approach you change of heart with him by saying that you have realized your part in the current condition of your marriage and would like to explore that, with or without him.<P>I wish you all the luck.<P>Z<BR>

It's so good to hear someone say the things I am thinking. I know exactly how you feel! I want him back and I want it now. What's his problem? Wake up! I have pitched that temper tantrum only once or twice to him, and many times (alone) but it doesn't do any good! Imagine that! ha-ha<P>Anyway, I'm so glad for you that you decided to learn and try to go about this with a plan. Learn as much as you can, make a plan, and stick to your guns. It will be difficult - I promise you, but will be worth it if you can save your marriage, and even if not, you will grow TREMENDOUSLY in the process.<P>You are in the right place for info, support and encouragement. Another thought for you... pleae come and vent here - not to your H. I had to learn (and am still learning) to bite my tongue, remain cool and calm, love him in a way only God knows how to, and come here to vent.<P>------------------<BR>Faith1