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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 55
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 55 |
What are the top EN's not met by your H?<P>My WS's not met by myself are affection and conversation.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 204
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 204 |
The top thing that I was not getting and we are still not any closer to having is communication. When you can't express how you feel to someone and you can talk to someone else-that just leads to trouble. The other one I wasn't getting was just affection. I like to have him say good things about me but hey "I make good lasagne" that's all he could say. Not that any of these are an excuse-because there is always something else you could do instead.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 74
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 74 |
Sex. The constant rejection. The feeling like I was a sex maniac just because I wanted it more than 1x a week. The refusal to try anything too adventurous or new with the implication that I was a pervert for even thinking of it. The shutting down and telling him that I just wouldn't initiate anymore because I couldn't take the rejection. The resentment of the 1x a week at a time of his choosing which poisened even that encounter. I told him. I begged him. I communicated out the wazoo. I even said he shouldn't be suprised if I sought relief elsewhere. Well, that's the final threat, and that doesn't even change things. Sex. And all the love, affirmation, and intimacy that goes with it.<P>JAL
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 55
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 55 |
Rainefall,<BR>so what's missing was conversation and admiration.<BR>what would u suggest to improve in that 2 area?<BR>I want to know what works and what dont.....<P>Just a lurker,<BR>reject of sex was b4 A? that is somewhat difficult to comprehen.... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/confused.gif) as a guy myself;<BR>affirmation, and intimacy I could understand, that I am lacking in that area too, so any suggestion for imporvement?
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 204
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Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 204 |
I guess my suggestion would be to start with counseling and let everything both of you need to say come out. With my H. anytime I tried to tell him something was bothering me, he simply went off on everything I had ever done to him. This made me feel like I had no right to complain about anything. The other, I don't know because I got told I was pretty from OM, but not a whole lot of affection. Suprise her with something. Do something for her-besides flowers.
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