I found out about the 'A' on June 12. We live in the Midwest and he called me from one of his offices about 4 hours away. OW is our regional manager in the east coast office. It seems she couldn't stand the thought of him coming back to me every weekend so she broke it off. For the last 9 months he hasn't been here emotionally for any of us and hasn't been able to look me in the eye for 6 months. Yet he would bring me expensive gifts. Our business is struggling and I have to ask for money when I have extra bills to pay. I am involved enough in the business to know that this is true. So it isn't like he's hiding that from me. In fact, this A is the first thing he's hidden from me. We have been best friends for 22 years. Here's my dilemma. OW is our regional manager in the only office making any money at all right now. I'd fire her myself but that would make me the bad guy, we'd lose everything, and likely get sued by a business associate out there. He's promised to have no contact with her until we make a Retrovaille weekend in early August. I plan on being with him every minute until then but I'm not sure how to keep him from talking to her. She is willing to stay with him if he is willing to leave me. Now he is deciding. What do I do? Added wrinkle; we have four children, ages 12-17 that need parents.<BR>Living someone else's life

lovemyhusband,<P>I am sorry to hear what you are going through. You have however come to the right place. Here’s a link to the Marriage Builder welcome page in the “Just Found Out” Forum. It will give you a good overview of where to look for help.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html</A> <P>Read the book Surviving an Affair. I it is a road map of how to put your relationship back on track. In particular read the material on Plan A on this website and in the book. The MB concepts have a very high success rate. Statistics are on your side. 98% of all marriages stay together after an affair. You want to work not only and keeping your marriage together but on improving your marriage. My husband, SeenTheLight, and I have done this using the MB concepts. Though I’d never suggest this path to marital improvement to anyone, we were able to use it as a catalyst to a better marriage. <P>Please keep coming here to MB. There are many good people here who will give you the support you need during these hard times.<P>Z<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Zorweb,<BR>I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me. We are keeping this a secret from most people. Our children don't know (I hope) and I was feeling so isolated and alone. Now I've got a huge support group. I hope I can find SAA in a book store as I don't want to wait for the mail.<BR>LMH<BR>