HELP!! I need to get some of this frustration out of my system. Saturday I met husband at his mothers to drop off one child while I took the other shopping... he wasn't there when I got there so I called his cell phone and he said he'd be there in 10 minutes, he was getting a surprise.<BR>Well, he brought me flowers... this morning when I was checking e-mail I found out that he went by OW car and left her flowers too. How can he do that? I just don't know what to do anymore. Things were getting better, he'd went a couple of monthes with no contact then saw her again about two weeks ago and now we are right back where we started in April. He doesn't know that I know about the e-mails or the flowers. I don't know whether to confront him or what. Any advice would be greatly accepted.

Hi 2tired,<P>Well... ick.<P>My ex-H used to do stuff like this. Really, you can confront him, and you probably will, right? But it won't do any good, because he'll say something like, "But I got you flowers, right? Don't you appreciate what I did for *you*??" <P>Plus, he'll deny it anyway, even with the proof... or... he'll say... yeah, so what?... and it will mean you'll never get flowers again.<P>I'd say this: GUSH over those flowers and tell him how lovely they are!!<P>If possible, don't bring this up right now....<P>...let's see what others have to say... hopefully, my response will bring others... it will move ya to the top, anyhow!!<P>I'm sorry for your pain... and this **is** painful.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nyneve:<BR><B>Hi 2tired,<P>Well... ick.<P>My ex-H used to do stuff like this. Really, you can confront him, and you probably will, right? But it won't do any good, because he'll say something like, "But I got you flowers, right? Don't you appreciate what I did for *you*??" <P><BR>I'd say this: GUSH over those flowers and tell him how lovely they are!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I must say that I agree with keeping the information to yourself at this point in time. Although doing this does not excuse him from his behaviour. Personally, I'd be furious and want to smack him over his little ol' head but we all know that that is a real LB for sure If you confront him head-on, he'd probably either lie, get angry or have that deer in the headlights look. None of these things will accomplish anything toward rebuilding your marriage. Graciously tend the flowers and hope that he can't read your mind........LOL!<P> <P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B><p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited July 09, 2001).]

2tired,<P>Good ideas -- gush over the flowers.<P>But, do you think OW might love bust if she knew you got flowers too? Hmmmm.<P>-- Jeffers

2tired,<P>The idea of fussing over the flower is a good one if you are in Plan A.<P>Bet she would love bust. But how to get her to know that both of you got flowers without you love busting? Probably cannot be done.<P>Z<P><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

2tired...<P>Wonderful news on the flowers!!!<BR>EWWWWWWW on OW getting them too!<P>I know for a fact OW would LB big time!! Probably worse than you would (since she feels she has entitlement rights!!) I wonder...does she read his emails? I wonder...does she ever see his car? I wonder....does she ever see his desk at work? Any way you could conveniently drop by when you have the chance and leave him a note or card on his desk or car? (better yet leave it on her car by accident..LOL...gushing over the flowers!!) Any chance she sees his desk and you could send him a gift and big note thanking him for your flowers so she would see it?...LOL...ok Im being a cad...Just trying to help... !!<P>Best of luck...revel in your flowers for now...don't lower yourself to LB just yet!!<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart

Thanks for the advice. I've not said anything to him yet so hopefully I can keep my mouth shout about it. I don't know how I could let her know about the flowers. They work in different places, (she's an old girlfried from about 15 years ago...) He agreed to no contact when I found out, I'm just frustrated that he could go 2 months without seeing her and then talk to her again. (I'm pretty sure it was just talk from the sound of her e-mail) Anyway thank you all for the support, maybe getting it out of my system here will help me keep it in at home!