Hello all<P>My W is having a EA with OM at work. I'm doing the best that I can with it. My wife is on a roller coster ride. Some day good, and some bad. Last Saturday, the family went shopping and my W just sat in the can with her hand on her chin like she did not want to be there. <P>My question to all, can my wife still work at her current job while trying to put our relationship back in place. I can't see it. <P>P.S. I don't know how everyone does it, but I have to give the people who use Step A all the time without giving off LB's a hand.<BR> I try and try but sometimes I can't help it. As much as I want to be supportive and be there for my W, she will do something insensitive and tick me off. Sometimes I hold back but other times I question, and my W has a short temper throughtout this EA that she lets loose and we then will have a arguement. After we're done I look back and see that it was not worth it. I know that I need to slow down, but the road gets harder and harder. It's only been almost two months since I found out and have been trying Step A, I see some people trying for over a year. That's amazing. I have to hand it to you.<P>Dino<P>

Dear Dino,<BR>Keep reading because there are some others out here who have asked the same question as you have here. Based on the Harley principles, she should probably quit the job or relocate to another facility where OM is not working.<P>Hang in there. This is not something that will go away overnight, but God can restore and perform miracles overnight. The thing with miracles tho, is that WE don't learn and grow and change. I believe in miracles, as we won't need them in heaven! We might as well get as many as we can now. However, when we have to walk by faith and believe God to get us through each moment and stretch ourselves and learn about ourselves and see a thing through to God's victory--WHAT A TESTIMONY of God's goodness and grace! (There is no testimony without a test)...

Dino, I'm going through the same thing with my W EA with a gay man. Yesterday she came home and wasn't talking much at all, then toward the end of dinner she became animated and told the story of her "good friend" buying a new yellow Spider convertible and how small the trunk is and how it's a cute car but not practical. (She's normally VERY practical, but not in this.) She never said she got a ride, but I'm sure that explains why her hair was wispy and out of place.<P>Unfortunately, she is not ready to make any decision other than to keep things as they are for now, no matter how bad she feels most of the time. We're both in counselling, but not together. I'm working for that. I Plan A when I'm emotionally able, 90% of the time, and cry the rest.<P>I know what you're going through.<P>SaltWater

From what I read on this web site and talking to people, it is imposible to move on trying to repair a marriage when the WS is still working at her current job with OM. I'm not going to tell me story again. You can read them my other posts.<P>I got fed up the other night. W was being disrespectful to my and my kids. W was coming home later and later among other things. I drove my baby sitter home and when I came back, I asked if we could talk. I asked my W is she would consider quiting her job. She said NO. She said it was one of the only things making her happy in her life. I asked her to move out until she knows what she wants. She said NO. We talked for hours. Nothing came out of it other then my W telling me that she has seen good change in me, but nothing has changed on the way she feels about me. I asked her what she wants, and she said that she wants to stay married but does not know if it's the right thing to do. She said a million reasons on why we should not be together, but when I asked her if she wants to D, she said "I don't know". I asked her how she feels about me, and she said "I care about your well being". I am going crazy.<P>I did not want to ask questions about OM. W did said she only speaks to him on work related issues. Ya right.<P>I am tired of all this crap. Yesterday, my wife and I maybe said two words to each other. I know my situation is not as bad as others, but I feel that I can't take anymore of this. Thinking about step B. She has the best of both worlds. Help. <P><BR>