Well.....6 days into my H being gone. I'm down today....can't seem to keep my mind off of him not being here and not wanting to be here.<BR>He's told his parents that he intends to prove that there is no longer any contact with him and the OW.....there isn't anything to say that he's even talked to her since he left. He's always where he says he will be. Hasn't really had the time to be with her. I also know that she has been taking her lunches with another man at work....so maybe she isn't involved anymore. So.....where to go from here? I don't know.<P>He's made no indication that he wants to come home at all.<BR>He barely has anything to do with me when he visits the girls.<BR>The girls and I went to dinner at his parents Sunday....he showed up also. After dinner my H and I and his mother took the girls to the pool. While we were there....our middle daughter just turned to him and out of the blue asked.....daddy....are you coming home tonite.....I miss you and want you to stay. All he said was....I'm sorry....I can't. <P>After we got back from the pool we all headed over here to our house....which confused the kids even more. Dinner at his parents on Sunday and coming home all together is a regular family thing for us. They thought he was coming home when all he was doing was mowing the lawn. Again....as she always does.....our middle daughter asked him to stay and he said....sorry....I can't.<P>Our oldest daughter asked him if he thought he would ever want to come home....and he said....probably not.<P>He's dashing all of our hopes of ever being a family again.<P>He's told me on one hand that he might get those feelings back in the future.....never know....and he may want to come home......but then the next day......talks of never wanting to come home. The way he talks to his parents is like he will never consider coming home.....it's completely over. Has told them....when they or I bring it up that a divorce will happen....though he isn't exactly sure when....mostly because of financial reasons.<P>He doesn't talk to me unless he absolutely has to....avoids touching me.....at all costs. <P>I'm not sure what to make of what's going on.<BR>Still no attempt from him at getting the rest of his stuff out of here....even if it's to the shed....as I requested....he knows it's hard for me and the girls for his stuff to still be here. He doesn't make an attempt to make a schedule to see the kids......guess he wants to be able to come and go as he pleases.<P>I'm at a loss as to what to do......it seems to get harder on the kids every day but easier every day for him to leave them....and be away from us.<P>He's living off of $150 every 2 weeks and doesn't really seem to be doing anything but sitting at my sisters and watching tv most of the time. He's always there when I call....she never is. (nothing going on there)<BR>He says he is happier now....that he likes life the way it is right now.<P>

I know exactly what you're going through.I know it's really tough. You will find much support here and that's what you need right now. My H left our home 4mos. ago and I only wish I knew about this site then. Please don't allow him to walk all over you though. If you feel that you need to make a visitation schedule for him to see the kids and he's not initiating it then you do it. Same thing with his personal things. I ask my H for weeks to please take his stuff because it was just to hard for me, he always said he would but never got around to it. Finally I did it myself and he was extremely surprised that I did. There is alot of insightful information as I am learning. You will find that you are stronger now than you ever thought you could be. You may look at yourself as being weak, but every day is another day you've made it through and that's a personal victory! <BR>Take care and hang in there,<BR>Cybil

(((((((( Miss Priss ))))))))<P>I don't have any words of encouragement to share with you today. I"m in my own slump. But I am thinking of you, and wishing you, at the very least, a peaceful and restful sleep tonight. Those always help.<P>Karen<BR>

Miss Priss,<P>Be hopeful that he is not seeing OW anymore, that is the first step. It will take time for him to get over it. I know it SUX. He is going throught withdrawal now. You can't believe alot of what he says. <P>Just Plan A, Plan A, Plan A. Be nice and give him time to get out of the fog. I know it's hard, but it will be worth it in the long run.<P>Keep the faith!<P>R3

Miss Priss<P>Your H has bee gone for 6 days. I am not making light of this, but it really hasn't been long enough for him to know what the heck he will do in the future.<P>I wouldn't believe him when he says, he is happier now. He has to justify his leaving someway. So, he will lie to himself and you. I am sure that he is very guilt ridden and not happy with himself. He is trying to run from his problems and eventually he will see that they keep showing up. He is telling you how he feels for the moment. You know that feelings can and often do change.<P>I don't think it's a good idea for you to bring up a D if you don't want one. He may not even be thinking that far ahead. This could push him into a corner.<P>Why do you want him to get the rest of the things from your house? It's only been a week. Do you say this out of anger or are you looking for a reaction from him? If they really bother you, maybe you could just pack them into a box and put them out of the way. Does it bother you that he doesn't have a set schedule? If so, you could discuss what days are convenient for him. <P>Hang in there, Miss Priss. Its a long and bumpy ride.<BR>Post often and vent here. Do not vent at him. It doesn't work.