Ok really need some input now, I just dont know what to do. Went to therapy on sat with WS wife. I put lots of her lies on the table. She was told to give it 2 weeks to think about seper., Om or marriage. But most of all be honest with me and tell me each time she talks with OM. She has been in counceling 2 previous times besides her own and has lied about giving up the Om stating it was over.<BR> well the very next day she met with him and received to beeps from him. and today she received a pager beep from him and god knows how many phone calls. But when I confronted her she denied all. What about the honesty she knows thi is it. The therapist adressed me in front of her and said I have a decision to make also, if more than 8 contacts. She isnt letting me know anything just continued lies. How do I confront or handles this. wait 2 weeks and see what happens, call her to the carpet, run away what?

If you give an ultimatum, you should do so only if you are prepared to follow through with it. If you are not ready to let her go, then you should be working on Plan A. Have you tried this?<BR>Right now, you won't be able to get through to her. There is too much contact between her and the OM. She has to sever ties with him first before seh can make any sort of agreements with you. I think that it is good that you told her that this is not an acceptable lifestyle for you and that the lies have to stop. When and if you tell her again, be sure and do it in a calm non-threatening way. <BR>If you are in Plan A, you can expect this to go on until she establishes a no contact policy with OM. Then, the two of you will be able to work on the details of your relationship.

Thanks cleo been there done that we are well beyond plan a and even did a abbreviated plan B I have lots of posts on it. I guess I was looking for a reply from a ws on where she is and what I can do. The therapist brought us to this point after about 6 months and over a year in the affair.