Well I haven’t posted in a while. I needed to see if thing would change just a bit, slowly they are. I'm not sure that the end result will be what I want but I am now able to hold her and give her a small kiss on the cheek. On Sunday I took the children out all day and she called us several times and actually got me a coffee. We had dinner with the children and laughed. I'm out to confuse her and she is a bit confused.” Good". I just started reading SAA. My whole situation is Textbook, right out of the first few chapters. I came up short and tried to give her everything yet not what she really needed. In return she started her own private life with the freedom I gave her, i.e. Housekeeper, car, lifestyle. I need to live that book, but I think she needs to realize that she has to leave the house and children. It might force a little reality towards her.<BR>The affair is still on I'm sure, but his cell phone is gone and she is calling me more. I'm still seeing the divorce attorneys and getting ready to protect the children and myself. All of you thank you for the advice. STL, Z, Paint, Orchid, Cali, and even the you SNL, go give your wife a hug and do the right thing. This took a few years to develop I’m not sure that I can slow her down enough to let her know that her children and I want our life’s back, that means having her in it with happiness and love. I will tell you more later. Any advice?<BR>

Adam, <P>Glad to hear that the cell phone is gone. That's progress. <P>I'm still a little confused. Are you going to Plan B right away or are you going to try a Plan A for at least a short time to see if you can convince her to end the affair and work on your marriage? Or do you know yet?<P>You hang in there. YOu know we are all here for you when you need us.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

If I had my choice it would be plan B. But she will not leave the house. So while she is here I will Plan A her and confuse her a bit. The book you told me to read (SAA)is very insightful, just change the names. In order for her to realize what she has she needs to loose it, she has to leave, How can I make that so ?.

AdamSol<P>If the both of you are lucky, she will realize that while you are still in Plan A. It sounds like you already made some progress. Plan A like crazy as long as she is in the house. Remember you want her to be with you for a while before Plan B so that you can show her how wonderful you can be with the new knowledge you have on meeting ENs.<P>If you really want to do Plan B, have you tried to talk to her about her leaving for a while to "find herself"? She may be willing to do that.<P>Z<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare