We're starting the vacation game again this week. We do this every summer about this time. We're not very good at this game so we usually don't win it.<P>We stuff a cat, a dog, and 3 kids in the van and drive 1000 miles (to Canada, yippee!). Then we drive back. I love this vacation, but boy does it hurt the lovebank.<P>W organizes everything. She knows which exit we got off at a nd ate lunch last year (and the 5 before). What time we hit a certain rest area. Has a list of all the clothes we packed last year. Good thing someone does this. <P>I'm the type who remembers stuff as we're pulling out the driveway and wants to run back in. "Are my binoculars in the car?" Big LB.<P>The vacation made me LB today. I made a joke about my clothes list (jokes are LBs when they're about the vacation). HELP. The rules change during the vacation game. What are they? <P>I hope I've learned enough to win the game this year. Actually, W laughed at me after I ran away after my clothes list LB. Maybe we're both learning. <P>So, at the end of this week we're going to be gone for a while - no internet. We're both going to see what real life with each other is like again. I hope we survive.<P>--Jeffers<BR>

I'm looking forward to your 'after the vacation' update... H and I are driving our boys to my sister's the end of July...then we are supposed to spend the week together....hmmm...<P><BR>Cali<P>PS...have you both filled out LB questionnaire so that you are clear on what exactly she considers LB's?<P>Lately I've been thinking that we BSs overthink the LB thing...<P>Also...just because you start out doing something the same way you always have doesn't mean you have to continue...STOP...REWIND and start over...IMHO, I think WSs seeing 'the process' of our changing is as effective as seeing us doing something different.<BR>

We've never done the LB questionaire. I guess I thought all our problems were EN based. I've also thought that I did great on avoiding LBs (at least from my point of view). I should have learned the lesson: if you don't ask, you probably don't know.<P>I know for the first 10 years I tried to make her get used to my irritating behavior. For the last 10 I really did figure out that was dumb and tried to eliminate behavior that bothered her. I probably went overboard.<P>I avoided *all* possibilities of conflict (ran away an hid). I wonder if that was what led us to slowly drift apart. Certainly I was not very honest (her #1 EN). <P>I told her about this "vacation game" post last night and she said "if you would just pack your d*** clothes" and then laughed and laughed (ROFL). Maybe we have "changed the tapes" this time.<P>Lately, when I LB and then run away to hide she has been chasing me down to talk to me about it. I feel like a puppy sometimes (lol). It's very different. Very NICE. She seems to have figured this part out better than me. <P>This post is helping me think out loud. Well, I guess that's what they all do.<P>--Jeffers<P>P.S. I'm looking forward to *ALL* the updates. I'm a total optimist so I'm very hopeful for everybody. You can fill a glass to the top, but no matter how hard you try you can never quite empty it again. <P><BR>

Darn roller coaster. At least I'm all packed :-}. I'll feel better tomorrow.<P>--Jeffers

Jeffers,<P>I am really smiling with my tongue in cheek! And hope you have a wonderful vacation....<P>I would bet if you did the Kiersey Temperment Sorter, you would find that the last personality identifiers are:<P>Jeffers: "P"<BR>Jeffers' Wife: "J"<P>"P" does not stand for planner, if you get my drift. <P>The first letters in the personality identifier are either "E" = Extrovert or "I" = Introvert.....<P>Don't stress - or lovebust, because when you get back you can both take the test and figure out how your "opposite" personalities actually compliment one another. <P>Hang in there and have a wonderful vacation....<P>By the way, hope you have something "planned" for when you get home... The 'let-down' after vacation can be a bummer for your wife - plan something designed to meet her personality type: An 'I' will want to be able to sit down with a pile of magazines or books for a day afterwards. An 'E' will want to visit friends, family - or invite them over to look over all the vacation pics....<P>Have fun!<BR>TnT