Ok folks, I think I screwed up Plan A this morning and probably committed a big LB and need some advice (or comfort?). I needed a new towel this morning for my shower and in getting towel I didn't see my wife's diaphragm where she usually keeps it (hidden in with the towels). I got suspicious because she has not promised no contact with OM and she has been spending a lot of hours away from home. Well, it didn't take long to find it in her car in her purse. I asked her why she had her diaphragm in her car and was she seeing him (OM) again or somebody else? Well, she explained she needed to show it to a girlfriend of her's because this woman had never seen one and was wondering about birth control options besides what she is currently using.<P>I told my wife I was sorry that I thought something else was up but that since she could not promise no contact, since she identified Sexual Fullfillment as one of her top 5 emotional needs which she wants at least 4 times per week now since the A, and since SF is one need that she doesn't want me to satisfy, I became rather upset at finding her diaphragm missing.<P>Can I do or say anything to apologize to her, that will make up for my paranoid reaction? I feel like this would not have happened if she could have promised no contact and if she weren't spending so many hours away from home at night. How can I make this up to her? Is it possible? I'm afraid I really set things waaaaaaaaaaay back again. <P>SG<BR>

Doesn't sound paranoid to me. Your wife has not promised no contact so I would be pretty suspicious. Maybe you can wait with the confrontations though because she will be on the lookout and be extra careful to hide things.

SG - what was her reaction to your reaction? This may help you decide if you need to apologize, but my thought is that if you decide to apologize at all, just apologize for nasty things you might have said, not for feeling hurt or for showing hurt. Your feelings were justified. You know she was lying, right? She knows this, too.<P>Yea, maybe you over reacted from pristine Plan A, but it sounds like most men would have in that situation. Let it go. None of us do Plan A perfectly. In the long term, it'll be just a small blip. Learn from it and get past it.<P>WAT

WAT,<P>Well, her reaction wasn't quite what I expected. Later in the day when I called to apologize (again) she said that it would not have been so bad if I just hadn't gone snooping around looking for the thing in her car. She said it would have been better if I had just asked her about the diaphragm being missing when I first discovered it. She didn't seem to express any anger toward me on this, maybe just disappointment at how paranoid I am being. My W also said she should have known better than to leave it out in the car. I'll try to be a little more cautious on the confrontations from now on. I think we're ok on this now....but I know I didn't earn myself any points on this one....<BR>SG

They hate us snooping. It's obvious why they do. The script calls for them to make it sound like an invasion of their privacy. Hello? Any room for more moose brain worms in there?<P>There comes a point when further snooping is unnecessary and you can stop this potentially love busting necessity. You should stop NOT because you shouldn't be snooping, but because you need to avoid LBs.<P>WAT