Yesterday things went pretty well with my H, and I. The day before I told him no contact, now once again I've changed my mind. As long as I am nice to him and don't bring anything up about him coming home or going to counseling things are great. He did tell me that right now he doesn't want to try maybe in a few months he will, but he realizes then may be to late. He's here everyday to see the kids and do things around the house if I need. He voluntarily gives me money every week. Last week I had to go to the hospital emergency room as I was having alot of lower pain in my back and my H, took me and we were there for 6hrs. He took care of me. Then why won't he come home? I want to scream at him "pull your head out of your a**" As I've stated before the OW is married too. Their A seems to be an EA.<BR>I have tried to contact her H, but as yet I have not been successful. I am suspicious of everything my H does. The OW works in the office where my H works. I've tried to talk to her and she has been very beligierent w/me. Why would someone act that way to someone unless they are guilty or have something to hide? I'm confused about so many things. In my heart it's still hard to believe that my H could do this me. Anyone have any advice for me?<P>------------------<BR>

cybil - just start implementing the MB principles. Your feelings are justified and typical of all BSs. Plan A is very hard for everyone. You'll get lots of support here. Just take it one day at a time and realize that results may not be seen very soon.<P>WAT

Hi cybil,<P>Just some thoughts of mine. It sounds like your H realizes that you still fulfull some of his ENs, he hasn't said those nasty things to you that some WS's do: that they will never love you, they want a D, etc etc.... This is a good sign. He is afraid of losing you, but at the same time, he wants his cake and eat it too.... very common. I don't know your timeframes, but I would suggest Plan A'ing for awhile longer. Really make a good impression, that home is safe for him, and home is where he will be loved, and that you are committed to working on things. Don't, DON'T, LB!!<P>Work on your consistency. Construct a consistent Plan A, and then when you commit to Plan B, DON'T GO BACK! If you do, he'll lose respect for you and take advantage of it. For Plan B to work, he needs to feel like he will really lose you if he continues on his course of action. It's a wake up call for the WS to snap them out of the Fog.<P>Also, a word of caution, be prepared for the fact that the EA is in fact a PA. I clung to the hope that my WS was having an EA, because that's what you want to believe, when in fact it was a PA. If you find yourself trying to convince yourself it's 'only' a EA, then that's a big sign that it's probably a PA.<P>All the best to you,