Dave,<P>You are definitely a success story, even at this stage. Someday, you will have the happiness that you deserve. I hope it will be with your wife, but no matter who it is, someone will be lucky to have you in her life in the future. You've gone through a trial by fire - and come out of it slightly singed and much improved... <BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Hi Dave, I just happened to be cruising by and saw your thread.<P>A couple of thoughts - first of all, one of the points of Plan B is to force the OP to meet ALL of the needs of the wayward spouse. <P>The pressure is on OM now - of course from the outside its going to look cozy - but thats because NOW she can't get her needs met anywhere else. <P>But you don't know what is really going on. From my own experience, I have learned that EVERY time I thought my H's relationship with his OW was great - those were the times it was the worst. They fought like cats and dogs, I've read emails btwn them that were very eye opening. And all that time I thought everything was "cozy". <P>Instead, they were trying to force each other to meet their needs, and both were failing miserably and love busting right and left.<P>His failings will be more conspicuous in your absence. It just takes time. You only just mailed the letter.<P>She is going to have to hit bottom first. Change occurs when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.<P>She's barely had a chance to feel what it is like to be truly cut off from you.<P>Hang in there, it does get better - just not necessarily better the way you imagine it to be.<P>(((hugs)))<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

Dave,<P>First, I agree with BR, Plan B will give her a taste of what it will be like if she loses you permanently and has only the pathetic OM.<P>Second, I just wanted to say that I hope I can be like you when I grow up . Hey, I'm over 40 but I guess I'll have to grow up sometime, and I think you've gone above and beyond what most of us can do. Too bad you're on the East coast or I'd come by later with some Becks or whatever you prefer.<P>Unfortunately, now is the time for you also to become ready for Plan D if it has to happen. I think it may still be unnecessary, but try to learn to enjoy life while you wait to see what will happen.<P>I hope for the best for your marriage, but especially for you.<P>Steve

WAT<P>No real advice here, just a bump to the top and a wish for you to hang tough...<P>Good luck<P>E

Thanks everyone for your tremendous support. I feel much better this morning.<P>This may sound like moose brain worms, but watching Cal hit that homer last night was inspirational. Yea, I'm a National League fan, but after that I found myself wishing that the final score would be 1 - 0. If he can produce a magic moment like that, I can re-discover the things I can do well, share them with my son, and bootstrap myself back to happiness. In my game of life, the final score WILL be 1 - 0. I win. (and I promise, NO "designated hitters")<P>Dave (WAT)