Hello, to all. Wish I had found this site a long time ago. My H affair has been over for 18 monthes. OW was a close family friend. We all worked together, although I quit there about 2 years before their A. Her husband died from AIDS in the midst of thier A. She actually had him conviced that wasn't what was wrong, even though EVERYONE KNEW. He was a bleeder and I guess that is how it was contracted. So I not only had to deal with the knowledge that he risked our marriage, but my very life!!!!!!! I am the only one my children have, their father is out of the picture. I have four boys, One knew before I did about H'S affair. He was 19 at the time. My H moved out for a month after he told me about the A. That night I had a heart attack and had to be put in ICU. The doctor called him, but he did not come to the hospital, The OW convinced him I was FAKING!!! The next morning I had another slight one when he was there. So, more added resentment on top of the aids thing. I was only 34. Now I will be on meds the rest of my life, and have astronomical med bills to face. I know he is trying very hard to make it up to me for what he did. He is a good person basically, even if a very naive one. But, I have nightmares almost every night, so many triggers still, Is it normal to still feel so bad after this lonng!

I do think everyone has their own timeframe on healing and some may be 2 yrs or more.<P>Are you and H together now? Any counseling together or indidvidually?<P>I am so sorry about your health problems and all your difficulty, especially the knowledge of being exposed to AIDS. I will never understand how some spouses can loose focus long enough to expose their loved ones to something as AIDS or other diseases. Some fog, uh?<P>Stay with the board and others can help & comfort. If you realize what the triggers are, avoid them. Have you asked your doctor about sleeping meds to help with the nightmares?

Funny that you mention nightmares because I, too, suffered terrible dreams about my H and the OW. Fortunately, these times are few and far between since D-day more than a month ago. The OW intruded upon my dreams when I feared an A between her and my H. Double fortunately, my H wishes to truly "come home" and work on our marriage. When you have a WS who wishes to focus on the marriage, the going is much easier. This is not to say that it's peachy, just easier as compared to WS's who are deep in the fog. <P>Please review this website and read the various steps that Dr. Harley recommends in getting the marriage back on the right track. If possible, enquire at the public library for books by the Harleys or purchase your own copies for safe-keeping.<P>I wish you well on your journey....<P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>