I have not spoke to H in 3 weeks. He does not what I'm doing or the children. I'm trying plan B. Hedoesn't even know the plans. He and ow live in their own world having fun. How long before I ask him to see the kids or help with the bills? I don't think it bothers him that he has no contact with me. What can I do?

Serously, you need to get some legal advice on how to protect yourslef and your kids. How are you managing? We can't help you do that. Do you have friends and family to help you? <P>What we can help you with is for you to learn and study here how to regain your self esteem, move forward emotionally, and to execute a proper Plan B. You need to write a letter and send it to him the best way you can - perhaps to his office or something? If he doesn't read it - you can't force him to. But at least you've given him the oppurtunity to understand your plan.<P>Please take care of yourself in a practical way. Some attorneys will consult with you for free the first visit. Get on the phone and call. Get help from friedns and family to get information. We are not telling you to give up and file for divorce. Just get information on how to hold your H responsible for his family financially.

But to answer your question. YOu wait as long as you can. Depends on how bad you want the marriage to work. Read read read. YOu'll find the answers to some of your questions.

Yes, I do have family helping me. I worry more about the children. He just blows them off. He only wants to spend time with them if ow is there. He told them that he loves her not me and that must except her. This is his life now. My children hate her and do not want to spend with her. They want to spend time with their father. He hates me and does not care if I don't have money to pay bills. He has changed so much in the last 7 months. Ow really has a hold of him. I've written him letters and asked him to come home. He says that he doesn't want anything to do with me. Help!!!