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W's been extremely moody and irritable lately. She's spent the last 6 nights on the couch. Should I say anything about it, maybe something like "you've been sleeping on the couch lately, is there anything you'd like to talk about?" or should I just keep my mouth shut. <P>I'm just curious why she's sleeping on the couch. Guilt? Withdrawal? Disgust for me? Disgusted with herself? <P>sad dad
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If it were me I'd ask why they are sleeping on the couchand I think following it up with asking her if there were something she wanted to talk about, it is a very compassionate thing to do.
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cloudseeker -<P>I'm still undecided about bringing it up. Why do think she might be doing it?<P>sad dad
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Sad Dad,<P>I could be all the reasons you mentioned. All stired up too. You could ask her and show her you concern, just be perpare for all the fog talk, because you are not going to hear anything remotely resemable to what you would like to hear. Still it could be an outlet for her pent up emotion. The question is can you take it?
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Humper,<P>Yes, I can take it. I realize that whetever her response is, I can't take it on face value. I just want to let her know that I'm concerned and I'm there if she wants to talk.<P>sad dad
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my mistake<p>[This message has been edited by sad dad (edited July 13, 2001).]
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sad dad<BR>Maybe she is feeling guilty. My WH said he would sleep on the couch one night. When i asked him why (as i had been doing so for a while when i first found out) he said that he deserved to sleep there since he did wrong. As sleeping on our couch is very uncomfortable!<P>I would definately ask her if there is anything that she would like to talk about, hopefully the conversation leads to her reason of why she is sleeping on the couch. But if not, then just ask her straight why this is happening.<p>[This message has been edited by tears of sorrow (edited July 13, 2001).]
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tears of sorrow,<P>I wish my W would say that. She has yet to admit the affair, even in the face of considerable proof.<P>sad dad
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sad - good advice above. Sure, ask in a loving way, but be ready to zip your lip. You know what to do.<P>WAT
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WAT, <P>I read some of your recent posts regarding your plan B letter. It's good to hear that you W is considering a session with Steve. I hope this is a small positive step for you.<P>sad dad
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She may not admit for a while...I didn't admit till we were deeply involved in recovery...and even then I didn't want to go to details.<BR>I wouldn't ask...do plan A and try to comfort her with offering to sleep on the couch for some time...or something like that...It's just how I feel.<BR>She is doing it because she feel guilty and yet because she may not made decision what to do...and she wants to show it…It’ early stage and talking about affair is LB in this stage…<BR>
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vbo,<P>At this point, I have no desire to talk about the A either. <BR>I just want to show her I'm concerned and let her know I'm here for her. I know she's not ready to talk about anything yet. I may offer to sleep on the couch for a few nights to give her break.<P>sad dad
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Something interesting happened today. My W called me this morning before she left for work and berated for not giving our dog his medicine (ear drops, topical ointment and antibiotics), even though she is supposed to do it in the morning. I told her I'll take care of it from now on.<P>A few hours later she called me at work to apologize for "getting snippy" with me. She was having a bad morning.<BR>Not a major victory, but it made me feel a little better that she took the time to call and apologize.<P>sad dad<p>[This message has been edited by sad dad (edited July 13, 2001).]
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