Stop me.<P><BR>Background<BR>on d-day I was telling hubbie to un-encrypt the e-mail I found so I coud read more than the title. (which were telling enough)<BR>I told him in a fit of rage open them or I will send her an e-mail. He didn't so I did. I called her a homewrecking C U Next Thursday. (know what I mean) This was from his work e-mail account. After he decided to stay and work things out I tried to recall the message. I forgot about it till the other night when he mentioned the recall didn't work and that she got it. <BR>Well she knows I know. <P><BR>He said that he never talked to her about it and it was only an e-mail thing and he just stopped it. <P>I asked if he asked her about about the e-mail or if he broke it off or what he said he just stopped and never talked to her about the e-mail. <P>I just found out the the a.m. after d-day she called his cell and they talked for 8 min. <P>On the good side there were NO MORE calls to his cell from her after that. I guess that is good right. <P>I just want to confront him about it but I know that would be a bad scene and push him ho her right? <P>SOMEBODY stop me!!!!!<P>Plan A plan A I can do it<P>

S&C,<P>Can you bring it up without a big scene? Be positive that that was the last call, but inquire to the 8 minute call, too. I think the key is to create a safe environment for honesty.<P>I wish you much success in your recovery!<P> <P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>

S&C - OK, STOP IT!!<P>Did that work?<P>You have every reason to be suspicious. But you realize that confronting about this now is a sure-fire lovebuster.<P>The best line floating around here lately: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?<P>Confronting is lose-lose. It'll make the WS defensive and they're prone to lie anyway, so you achieve nothing. It's only guaranteed benefit after d-day is as an outlet for anger.<P>Plan A..........<P>WAT

Sad...<P>We are all prone to emotional reactions, and the backlash of those can be ugly at times!! The confrontations come from the desperation we feel when we are backed into a corner and come out fighting and defending that which is ours, much like a wolf protects the den. I do see one positive in all this...your H now understands that your follow through is very good!! He now knows that when you say something, you mean it! I applaud you, in that, even if it was LBing, you did what you said you were going to do. That, believe it or not, is a good thing.<P>Now, like WAT said, do you want to be right or married/happy?? Have you two read the Agreement of Radical Honesty? That may be one way to approach it with him....tell him, honestly, what you did and why, and get him to open up about it. Tell him your fears and your state of mind in a way that he doesn't feel you are attacking him, but relating why you did what you did and how you felt at the time. Keep the faith...you are doing well!!<P>*Out of our greatest fears, come our bravest deeds!*<P>Trueheart