<BR>I'm just curious...<P>I'm sure most everybody has talked to at least some friends and family about their WS and marriage. At the start of all this, I found everyone to be very supportive, "that we could work it out, etc."<P>Now that a few months has past and as I discuss MB principles with some, they think I'm out of my mind! They ask, "why do you put up with this?" Sometimes I have to agree and at other times it feels as though you could be swayed over to they're side of the fence (to get a divorce). It almost seems as though I'm running out of "support" people to talk to. They say they'll support me but just don't want to see me get hurt any more...<P>Is anyone else going through the same process with friends and if so, how do you handle it???<P>MTH

I can totally relate to what you are saying.<P>The only people that are supporting me right now.....are my H's parents.<P>When all this started.....5 months ago....I had plenty of support from friends and family.<BR>Now....my family hasn't even called me to see how I'm doing since he left AGAIN....3rd time. He's been gone for 10 days.....this is the longest.<BR>As a matter of fact.......my sister offered my H somewhere to stay....that's where he is now. My relationship with my sister....will never be the same. My Aunt told me she would have offered him a place to stay too....since he wouldn't.....I say WOULDN'T go to his parents......because they don't approve of what he's doing.<P>Actually.....I'm better off with just having his parents for support.<P>I forgot to mention Judy....aka bighope......from here at MB.....she has been a TREMENDOUS help for me. She's gotten me through many many rough times.<BR>

MakingItThruThis:<P>I know how you feel. I have the same thing and I think they just get tired of hearing it. They sympathies at the beginning, but than it's get on with your life. What they don't understand is this was your life. It's hard to let go or give up hope. IMO they think they are looking out for what's best for you. They can't comprehend...because it's not them actually going through this. They are not the one that is suffering directly. They are not the one that has fond memories, love and care. Sometimes I think they think if you don't talk about it, you'll forget about it and it will just kind of go away....SURE. It's difficult for them to see, they are looking at it from a different perspective. They don't have the feelings, emotions and torment that you have. Therefore they are not going to feel as you do. <P>I know it makes it hard and especially hurts that the support you had is fading. That's why I come here. I can understand the way you feel, as well as others here do. <P>Also everyone is different in how they handle things. It's your life and you have to deal with it in your time and your way. You'll have to get your support from MB, where there are people going through this too.<P>Your not "out of your mind" you just want your marriage back. Try and see their point of view and try not to take it personally. It's tough, but IMO that's how it is. <P>Take Care and best wishes.

MakingItThruThis,<P>As bad as this sounds, you can't depend on family and friends when it comes to infidelity because they just can't possibly understand. It's not that they don't care, but it's easy for them to say get out of the marriage. I know what you're going through and it would be so much easier to say screw it, but that will just get you exactly what you don't want. Also, if you quit that's a decision you'll have to live with. Can you live with it? The thing that keeps me going is the hope that if/when my W comes out of the "fog", I'll be there for her with open arms and love in my heart and she'll know I never gave up on her. That may be what she needs to realize how much I love her and how much she means to me. Maybe I'm naive.<P>sad dad

The only real flesh person I discuss any of this with (and not even all of it), asks "so why can't you get over this, what's the problem".<P>It was breach of trust, and even more than that "someone else fell in love with my H", because he let her. He should have not even gone there - I still cannot believe that he even let this happen.<P>Okay, so deal with it. A couple of nights ago i told him I was tired of this, and it was time to start solving it. yesterday I tried to be so good, and I was, I was happy, I did all the right things, I asked him if we could make love, he said his usual "we'll try", he said if his back could take it, i told him I was concerned about his back - that was all it took, he came to bed, "I'll hold you for a couple of minutes" - we ended up having a huge, late night discussion. A late, horrible fight. I don't understand how we use to be so incinque, together, and now, he always makes excuses, tries to justify everything - it seems to get out of intimacy with me.<P>Back to the real topic, it is just best to talk to all of you about how I feel, because you understand - no friend, person on the street, etc. knows, because they have not been through it. It is not even worth my breath - so I don't feel like talking to anyone - because I only need to talk about this - the EA - no SF - no affection - no nothing - nada - crap.<P>It is a horrible state to be in. aftershock

I guess this is what I've come to find out. Family and friends care about us and don't want to see us continue to hurt any longer. I think their intentions are good but, they are somewhat in the fog as well.<P>But as sad dad says, "they just don't understand" - nobody does, except people in this forums.<P>Thanks for being here everyone. I hope people continue to help and support as this is one of our only places we'll get it...<P>MIT