This question is to women who have been the WS. My wife is having an EA on the phone with OM who used to work with her. We have not had a good relationship over the past years. I don't know when my wife's EA started but I found out about it in April of this year. she is sometimes cordial and friendly to me when we talk about things other than us. But other times she is very very withdrawn and when I ask her about work or other things I may get a two word answer. I feel it sounds as if I am putting her through an inquisition and she thinks so too. Last night, we were sitting on the couch watching TV and I was rubbing her back. I looked over and she was staring into space as if she was thinking about something. She would also sigh some times. I told her that it looked like she was wrestling with something and she of course said she wasn't. I am thinking she has a lot of guilt and she just won't let it out. Do I continue to ask her if there is something wron other than what we are going through or just wait until she opens up to me. We both are hesitant to initiate conversations because I guess we feel it might lead to an argument. At least I am. How did any of you act toward your husbands, parents, friends, etc. when you were in the midst of the A. Did you end it or did the OP? If you did end it at what point did you decide to. I appreciate any feedback. although I have only known about it for 3+- months, she still talks to him on the phone and I don't know what to do about that. We have started to go to counseling but it is off and on. I am trying to be patient and continue to be a loving husband but it is hard. Thanks for listening.