I have never spoke to ow. Should I contact her? It has been 7 months since H moved in with her. If yes, what do I say?

I do not see ONE thing in your H's letter that could be considered a threat.<P>Without seeing your letter, it is difficult to comment. However, if you are confident that it was quite benign (did you keep a copy for yourself), then I'd not worry.<P>Since the internet company said that you could contact them, I would, and tell them the entire story. I presume the reason you opened a new account name for this one letter was so that she would NOT have your email address.<P>A certain amount of upsetedness on the part of the betrayed party is expected, and unless your email stated something would happen to her if she tried to contact, I'd say you were okay.<P>Just as an aside...when I found out my H had carried on an affair (d-day 7 weeks into my marriage....and for 15 years I thought it was over...found out that it had continued for about 10 years), I tried to find the "lady". I couldn't...so I started phoning around all the (her last name) in the area. Found her brother's home...told them the entire story (the b-tch deserved it). Next think I knew, I had a call from a policeman saying that if I contacted them again, I'd be charged with stalking. I made no threats at all. Can you believe that? She can destroy my marriage, and I'm not supposed to say diddily poo about it.<P>Weird world we live in!

Gabby,<P>What good would it do to contact the OW for you? Nothing really......except maybe regret you did it.<BR>To your H....it would be a MAJOR LB.<BR>She won't tell you anything but lies anyway.<P>She will fill your head with things that will make the situation worse.....believe me....I've been there.<P>I'd like to contact my H's OW......but not in the conversational way.....but it wouldn't do me any good. It would make me feel TONS better.....but in the long run...it wouldn't do a thing for my marriage.<P>I'm a better person than her....and I'm out to prove it.<P>Don't do anything that would hurt your chances of mending your marriage.<BR>

gabby - my knee jerk opinion is no, don't contact her.<P>This is not about her. Contacting her about anything will not get you anywhere except in bigger problems with your H. Pretend like she doesn't exist - because it's likely she didn't before your marriage problems occurred. She is only a symptom. <P>But the biggest reason not to pay any attention to her is because she doesn't deserve your time.<P>WAT

Gabby,<P>What do you think you will gain from it? Think that through very carefully.<P>Contacting her would do no good at this point. It will only surve to upset you and to give her too much power. Return her treatment of you in kind. Treat as someone who does not exist. By trying to replace you with your husband she is treating you as though you do not exit. <P>There is more strength in not contacting her. And you will never get the reaction from her that you want and need. Remember that you does not have your best intersts at heart.<P>Z