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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 242
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 242 |
My husband and I have been struggling through his infidelity for nine months.He has told his lover to leave him alone on several occasions. She lives near us and she stands on the street in front of our house playing ball with the neighbor's kids. She buys him gifts and delivers them to him at the end of our road on his way home from work. She is desperatly in love with him. She is in the process of divorce from her husband because of the affair. I have even told her leave us alone. She has planted notes on our front door when we're not home stating that they were still seeing each other.Help how can I get rid of her!!!! She is making it very hard for us to recover from this. I think that is her intention, too.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,227 |
Wow. I know it's a huge step, but sometimes a necessity. Can you guys move? Anyplace you've always wanted to live, start over?<P>I know it's tough, but sometimes you need to take drastic measures. <P>Otherwise... Take out a restraining order? She is harassing you... How does your H feel about her? Does he want her away as well, or does he still have feelings for her and is trying like hell not to be with her so he can work on your marriage?
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,384
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,384 |
Talk to the police, her actions may fall under the stalking law. <BR>Next time you come home and find a note attached to your door, leave it there, don't touch it and call the police.<BR>You can stop her but it may take osme time.<BR>I'm a little confussed aobut how she delivers gifts to your H at the end of your road on his way home? Does he stop to take them?
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 4,297
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 4,297 |
Have you read the book Surviving an Affair. If please do. It will help you quite a bit.<P>You and your husband need to take extraordinary precautions to recover from the affair. Moving, as hard as it will be, is probably necessary unless she is going to be moving soon because of the divorce.<P>Call the police and get a restraining order against her. She is stalking you and your husband. Ever hear of the movie Fatal Attraction? This is not just annoying. It is scary.<BR><P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 1,036 |
Are you certain that what she is saying is not true about your H still seeing her? Have u talked to them both at the same time to get to the bottom of this. Why is your H stopping to accept gifts from her?
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 242
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 242 |
Yes he did stop to talk to her. I brought up the topic of Marriage Builders on the day that he was to officially move out. Because he had spent the weekend with her family. I've mentioned to him about filing charges against her but he's too soft-hearted. We have had our number changed. She is suppose to move away soon. But not soon enough for me.
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,384
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,384 |
If he stops to talk to her and receive gifts from her then HE is still encouraging her.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 15 |
M&J:<P>A Restraining Order (or Protective Order, whatever they are called where you are) is definitely in order here. I had to get one last winter to keep my husband psycho ex-wife from leaving letters and phone messages at my house, and to keep her out of my workplace.<P>You may need to contact your county prosector's office, or perhaps the county clerk. You can do this with or without your husband, but the order will cover everyone in your household (hubby, kids). Don't wait for him; do this yourself for your own peace of mind. She may not move far. If she violates the order, she faces stiff fines and/or jail time!!
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