H says he has to move out but then can't commit to when...we're still attending social events together (none of our friends know anything is wrong and still think we're a "special" couple). I can't bring myself to think about sex with him yet since everytime intimacy starts, he looks at me and says he can't kiss me. I just get up and leave the room simply because I can't pursue sex with him knowing he's thinking of someone else. Then, I think, sex is one of his primary EN's so maybe I should just go through with it anyway, regardless of who H thinks he loves? Wow, I've never been so confused in my life about direction and my behaviour. And wow, did I miss this board the last several days. All of you have helped me to survive each day. Thanks.

IMO, I'd suggest you talk to your H and decide on an exact day. By prolonging this, he is only able to waffle all the more. Tell him that although you do not want to see him go, you cannot bear living the way things are now. The whole 'if you love someone set them free' scenerio.<P>I only suggest this because that is what seemed to be necessary for my H and I... to separate. However, if I could do it all over again (not that I'd want to.. nor would any of us), I wouldn't have 'lost it' on him. I kicked him out of the house in anger and frustration. That did NOT help us on the road to recovery (it made the journey that much longer to get there).<P>Take care,<BR>Karen<BR>

<B>Terrified - </B> You have to make the decision for yourself, but if you know sex is one of his primary ENs and you don't fulfill it, you run the risk of having that someone else cement her place with your H.<P>As to the moving out and his reluctance, I see that as a good sign. My W did the same thing. From Sep 99 to Dec 2000, I heard nothing else except "I have to move out". On Jan 7, 2000, she signed a 6 month lease on an apartment. Yet, she still couldn't bring herself to move. Finally on May 15, 2000 after a Saturday argument, I told her that she no longer had any choice. She was moving the next day, and I was helping get her out.<P>We got her moved in the next day and by evening, she asked if I would spend the first night with her. She spent a grand total of three weeks over a two month period in the apartment and had me stay with her every night. <P>Maybe your H is having the same reluctant thoughts...Don't worry about what he is doing/thinking, keep up with Plan A. He might eventually change his mind about moving.<P>Just some food for thought...<P>--DeWayne--