I thought that things couldn't get worse....but alas.....they have.<P>My H told the girls that he would stop by or at least call them today....and so far...no word from him. He knows that now it's too late to call. I would have thought that he definatley would have called....since my sister was supposed to give him a message....she either didn't.....or he ignored it.<P>I've tried to keep the girls busy all day.....visiting grandparents.......swimming....taking them to the race track. We just got home a little while ago and there were no messages on the machine.....nobody tried to call.<BR>Our oldest daughter said.....well....dad's let us down 3 times in one day now. I don't even want to talk to him now.....he isn't going to be there for us like he said he would.<P>I'm worn out....being pulled in 3 different directions all day.....they never want to do the same thing at the same time.<P>I can't believe this man. The lies that spout of his mouth. He will never be able to convince me....or anyone he knows that his children are the most important thing to him....because his actions show that they are not.<P>I'm in a position right now....under the laws of my state that I can move to a different state without his permission. He abandoned us.<BR>I've almost come to the conclusion that he does not deserve to see these children.......he is hurting them too much.<BR>My daughters deserve to live thier life in a carefree way....not worry about when daddy is going to come home and why daddy isn't there to kiss their booboos anymore.<BR>They deserve to be able to go to sleep every night knowing that their daddy loves them.....they are starting to question that now.<P>I've decided that they would be much better off without him in their life.<P>I may change my mind tomorrow.....but tonight....this is how I feel.<P><BR>

MP...if you can, please try to rest your mind from all the turmoil that you are now feeling. In the morning, you may very well have a far different approach to your dilemma. By no means is your H excused from what he has told the girls, but, as you mentioned before, he is extremely fatiqued, as are you. Perhaps there is a logical explanation as to why he did not contact your home. Hopefully, his lack of communication is due to his being able to finally allow his body the rest that is needed.<P>Remember, too, that your H is in a deep fog that does not allow penetration from anyone......including his own feelings. Please concentrate on yourself and your daughters. Do not waste what little energy you have obsessing about him. It will get better...... <P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

You cannot control what your H says to the girls. But you can control what you say to them. If he tells you that he'll call or visit, don't say a word to them. If he actually does do what he claims he will, then it will be a grand surprise!<P>When you get the chance to , I would mention to H that he should not make empty promises to the girls. What might actually affect him, would be for the girls to tell him that. So the next time your daughter tells you she's upset with daddy; comfort her, and then suggest she tell daddy how she feels. Just a thought.<P>I hope a good sleep re-energizes you for a better day tomorrow.<P>Karen<BR>

Missy,<P>You have some very tough decisions to make, but make them after some rest. The others have given you good advice.<P>About moving out of state. Do you have somewhere to can move to where you can get more help? Just curious.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

MP:<P>It is difficult, I know. My children are suffering the consequences of their mother's (my exW) decisions. Even I, in some ways, am impacted by my father's desertion 34 years ago.<P>One step at a time, one day at a time. All things will out.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL

Dear MP,<P>Be prepared, it can get worse. For him. Not you and your family. Surround you and the children with support, keep them busy. Show how both you and your girls can support each other. Kind of like the way we do here. All of us are hurting in one way or another, yet we at times still reach out and help others. Your children can do the same. It will make you all better persons. <P>I agree with Topie, let you children tell their dad what they think. While not telling them what to say and how to react, you can encourage them to speak what is in their heart and mind of each child. <P>L.

Prissy - refer to Rule 1.<P>You are not dealing with a rational person. Your normal thought processes just don't apply.<P>Correct, no one will believe right now that your kids are his top priority. That's because they aren't - right now.<P>His top priority right now is him. It's the same for every denying WS. Think of him as your H's evil twin. The aliens have abducted the real one - he's alive and well on the Mothership. Do not play the aliens' game. Be the hero for your kids, not a victim.<P>WAT