ICTOAN<P>My love to you dear and God loves you. You have have made my pain seem insignificant but now I must ask the same question of my wife - I have avoided it as I have been too scared to ask yet.<P>Please stay here there is so much support and care.

No wonder you are devastated and scared, anybody would be.<P>I won't give advice, as I've read the responses here, and you've been given very good advice.<P>What I will give you are my arms wrapped around you while you weep...and a prayer for you and your husband, and your family.<P>Know that at this point in time, you can still have many years, and during those years there may well be a cure...the scientists are working frantically on this. Just do everything your Dr. advises.<P>I do hope you come back here for support....but also that you find a "live" support group near where you live. Love does a lot to soothe the pain, and you will find that here.<P>I am so sorry.

ICTOAN,<P>I am in tears after reading this, I am so sorry. I'm saying prayers for you, Honey.<P>Please keep posting to us.<P>God Bless you and keep you,<BR>Jo<P>

ICTOAN.......know that you and yours are in my prayers. I also believe that your grief is beyond normal comprehension. I'm overwhelmed with sadness knowing that all of us with a WS have the same chances of contacting some form of STD which can change our lives forever. <P>Please take good care of yourself and know that there are many here who can give you strength and support. <P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

I_cannot_think_of_a_name,<P>My H and I read your posting and we both feel such rage, and such sorrow for your situation.<P>There really aren't words to convey our thoughts to you... and to your H, who sounds like he made a mistake he regrets, even moreso now that this (the HIV diagnosis) has come out.<P>Despite what the woman said, I hope you will be tested again. <P>Praying for a healing for you and your H. <P>

This is by far the saddest thing I've read here. I can't make the pain and fear go away, but I will pray lots for you. God Bless.

Go after her legally!!!!! I am livid by your story, the other woman is a menace to society. My thoughts and prayers are with you, please remember you are valued, you are precious, you are needed and you are loved

This is shocking - do you realise that this woman has committed a serious crime? You should phone the police and have her arrested. She will be tried and will be convicted. I remember reading about a very similar case recently, where a man went to prison because he did not tell his partner he was HIV positive. <P>That may not do you much good, and I am not advocating you phone the police out of revenge - but this woman has to be kept off the streets in case she does it again.<P> <BR>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by zorweb:<BR><B>Sorry, this is hogwash; the HIV virus can pass through condoms. So there is no such thing as “safe sex</B><P>How did you come by this information? It sounds like nonsense to me, considering HIV is transmited through exchange of relatively large quantities of bodily fluids.<BR>In school we used to scare each other that you could get HIV from kissing, but that turned out to be nonsense - not nearly enough fluid is involved. A condom should therefore be safe, unless it is handled improperly - in which case it is not "safe" against pregnancy either.<BR>

are there any others out there dealing with this. Have you all been tested? Yes my husband is very sorry for what he did. He is having a very hard time realizing that a brief but deadly liason has affected us in this way. Yes he was tested and also came up positive. I know i can legally get her and I have proof of what she said, i just right now do not have the energy to.<BR> I sent my son away yesterday, my husband is still off dealing with his pain and coming to grips with what has happened. Please let this be a wake up call for those of you still engaged in an affair, and for those of you scared to be tested because it is a scary thing. I have cried all night since my son left so i need to go to sleep, I am calling in from work, Do I have to let them know?? I am a teacher, and teaching summer school right now, Oh my goodness, i just realized i can lose my job because of this. What did i do to deserve this?<P>------------------<BR>how do you get up and move on, when noone sees you fall?

Dear Friend,<P>I was tested for HIV before I got married. I probably should have been dead by the way I behaved in my past. But God extended His mercy to me and He has enough to go around for you.<P>Like zorweb, I had a troubled pregnancy with twins. I had a threatened miscarriage at 10 weeks with lots of bleeding, and I lost the third trimester altogether. Please bear with me, because my intention is to encourage you, not to bore you with my story. The doctors gave our twins a death sentence and the situation was totally out of our control.<P>They told us that our babies (1.08 & 1.10 lbs.) would not likely survive the delivery. They were wrong. Several weeks later, they told us our son "would be dead in two days" following a surgery with all sorts of post-op complications when he was still under 2 lbs. Again, they were wrong.<P>My point is, try not to see this diagnosis as a death sentence. God has the final say! Doctors' good reports can switch from good to evil and their bad reports can switch to good, but God's Word is unchanging. Find out what HE has to say about your condition... <P>I read of a couple who were both infected with full-blown AIDS and their child also--but were ALL miraculously healed by God's power and are in ministry today in Mexico! The book is called, "Ever-Present HEALING" by Pete Michel, p.o.box5464, Los Alamitos, CA 90721. Please see about getting this book to encourage your faith. God does not play favorites.<P>Another great book is "Healed of Cancer" by Dotie Osteen. Another person who is alive today after receiving her death sentence from doctors. And, don't forget Betty Price who was also healed of an incurable, inoperative cancerous growth in her pelvis. Her testimony is written in "Through the Fire and Through the Water." These books are easy to read and guaranteed to encourage you. Some people don't believe in miracles or that miracles are for us today, but we WILL NOT need miracles in heaven!!!! WE NEED THEM NOW!<P>I am praying for you that you would not accept the doctor's reports as the final authority. Jesus healed ALL who were oppressed by the devil. I don't believe that HIV comes from God to test His children any more than I would put sickness on my own kids.<P>BTW, my twins are 6-years old and alive and healthy. They have special needs from all the intervention they endured and from brain development issues, but I believe that for 2 people who weren't supposed to live at all, God's mercy prevailed! His mercy will prevail in your lives as well!

I was called this morning and was told that my husband found the woman and shot her, and then shot himself. I do not know why i am in here typing this but for the fact i am numb. God does not give us more than we can handle right. Thank God my son is not here. I will be going to my family today, my sister is coming to get me. thankyou for all your support. Sorry i am just really numb, and in shock. How do i tell our son? <BR>

Are you all right?

For now, take care of yourself. God will give you the words when the time is right. My heartfelt prayers are with you and your family. You didn't deserve any of this. God knew you would go through this and He is with you and He will never leave you nor forsake you.

You must be in shock and and i realise that with such news the comments from other people may be pretty useless. Still, I'd say please do not do anything to yourself for your son's sake. Even after you are infected with HIV, it can take many, many years before the disease actually starts to work. There are many suppressants and experimental drugs in use which even then can keep the disease at bay for a long, long time. I know I would feel pretty hopeless in your situation so I don't know how useful my comments are. And if I were I would say to me "what do you know about it wiseguy". But you will be able to see your son grow up, and you may still see him get married and have children. Please keep that in mind.<P><BR>

I cannot find the words to express my sorrow for you. Take care of yourself and your son. Lean on your family as you will need their support through the coming days.<P>Please let us know how you are doing.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

So sorry...<P>Please know that all here are concerned and thinking about you.<P>Pleasepost when you are able...<P>E

I hope this replay is not seen as insensitive but I wanted to reply to one of your earlier posts. You have enough tragedy in your life.. you do not need to loose your job.<P>Just read your post about telling your employer about you having HIV. Check with your local AIDs association. They will be able to advise you on how to handle your employer. Please do not bring up the HIV with them until you know your rights. Your son needs you to be as whole as possible.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

i_cannot_think_of_a_name:<P>My deepest condolences for the loss of your husband---it's a shame that he had to go and do something so final as this.<P>HIV is not a death sentence for you. There are several medications available that have the potential for dealing with the disease and managing it---making it something more akin to diabetes (which you can live with), then a fatal killer. I work in the pharmaceutical R&D area, and several companies (ours included) are spending considerable time, effort, and money to continue to refine and discover new drugs to treat this virus.<P>Get to the doctor, and let them help you---they'll get you on the appropriate course of medication.<P>Again, my deepest sympathies for your loss, and this terrible news. Take care of your son, and yourself.<P>God bless.

ICTOAN:<P>I can only dimly grasp at the shock and anguish you are experiencing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this time of tragedy.<P>As a young soldier, there was a period where I was confronted with death daily, to deal with it, I focused on one thing only: my family. It was a kernel of light amid the dark.<P>Your son will be needing you now more than ever. Lean on those who care: family, friends, clergy. Each provides a source of strength to help you make it through the next minute, the next hour.<P>Again, know that the prayers and thoughts of many here are with you.<P>Godspeed,<BR>STL