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There are many female BS's here and I think that females are by nature more nurturing, forgiving, hey we are maternal. Sometimes, as I Plan A and do nice things for my H, it helps to think of my H as another child I have to take care of. Definately a *problem* child.<P>Anyway, my point here is to give the male BS's here a big pat on the back. It hurts me to read the pain they are suffering. I think that they are trying so hard to save their marriages makes them bigger men than the ones with big egos that leave it up to the W to fix everything.<P>So to all you betrayed husbands out there, GOOD JOB!!! Keep the Faith! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>R3
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Joined: Jul 2001
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Thanks r.<P>You know, it so often feels like you're being the weakest, wimpiest, non-man in the world to put up with this stuff. But I am, by nature, a person of extreme loyalty and endurance. I can go the distance with this thing... I told her (I was paraphrasing someone from this board, so thanks!) that she would have to physically take the ring off of my finger if it ever came to it.<P>I may very well be taken advantage of right now... My W could be acting sort of nice and saying things that are not hurtful just because she knows this is my last night in our house... maybe ever. Only time will tell.<P>Your encouragement is priceless.<P>zen
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Joined: Jun 2001
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Thanks Roudy3 --<P>It's kind of interesting that you mention this and I'm sure a lot of others (both men and women) have had this experience, but so many people think you are nuts for trying this hard and they tell you so. I tell them, this is the most important thing in my life. Three other human beings are deeply affected by this, I meant my vows, they resulted in three kids, and they deserve every possible chance I can give this thing. They still think I'm crazy. Maybe that's one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high in America.<P>Ish
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Roudy3<P>Thanks...<P>I think all of us BSs are tough and strong and very worthy people. But it is true in the macho world the reaction of many men would be to bail out--quickly.<P>I think the harder, braver, more loyal and more loving thing to do is to stick it out... Someday we hope our WS W's will see that too. But if they don't we can at least hold our head high and say we were better men for the effort...<P>E
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by zen:<BR><B>it so often feels like you're being the weakest, wimpiest, non-man in the world to put up with this stuff. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I feel this way too. However, my 13-year-old son told me the other day that he was very proud of me. That, after everything I've gone through, "you still stand tall, Daddy.". Great encouragement on the home front, eh?<P>Bama<P>
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Roudy3,<BR>What a great thing to notice & post about. . .and I agree w/you. The responses from the male BS's are heartwarming to say the least. And I agree with R3 that you should ALL stand tall. . .you have got to be the bravest men I know. Not running, ducking, going out to PROVE your manhood. In the words of a very wise 13 year old boy. . .you are standing tall! Take a bow.<P>Now. . .where's WAT & Rick?
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bitsy:<BR><B>Now. . .where's WAT & Rick?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>...just trying to get taller so my wife can see my recognizable hairline above the fog.
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I do have to say, as a male BS, I've definately questioned my manhood. I feel like a jellyfish at times, needing to grow a backbone and toss W out on her ear. Then I look into her eyes and realize how much I adore this woman. I realize it takes more of a man to stay, face the reality of YOUR OWN faults that could have contributed and correct them. Men are stubborn by nature, to take responsibility for your own shortcomings and work through such trauma takes one HECK of a man, one H*LL of a human beingh, male or female.<P><BR>------------------<BR>...Keeping a stiff upper lip<BR>-Scarlet Pumpernickle<BR>s_pumpernickle@yahoo.com<p>[This message has been edited by scarlet pumpernickle (edited July 16, 2001).]
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Where were all you wonderful men when I was dating? Oh, wait...I think I was in that fog...<P>Nell ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif) <P>------------------<BR>If I listened long enough to you<BR>I'd find a way to believe that it's all true<BR>Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried<BR>Still I look to find a reason to believe<BR>--Rod Stewart & Tim Hardin
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