Hey there again all...I know I was sounding happy last post...but as usual more setbacks in this situation...<BR>He brought her cigs home again...grrrrr....turns out he also had a pack of them in his car the night he said he was back home(which was Fri night)....after their little fight which I posted about 1 or 2 posts ago....<BR>Well..his excuse when I saw them last night...he threw them down on the dresser right in front of me...like I wouldn't notice them???...Major trigger here...I hate Newport Lights....<BR>Anyway I asked why do you have those cigs again??...he said he had broken his(bad habit of his...does it all the time in his pocket)...and she saw that he didn't have any unbroken smokes so threw him hers since she isn't allowed to smoke at her ex husband's house...that's right...the abusive ex she divorced but refuses to leave....she has her own place but doesn't live there...jsut keeps her stuff at the other place....Anyway My H did say in a disgusted tone...Since she still couldn't smoke at her H's house...LOL...I believe the other man in her life now is still her ex husband!!!....My H knows she's a liar but dear god please don't let him be fool enough to start this all over!!!...Please no!!!!....He seems to have finally seen just have mean she really is...but still doesn't quite get it yet....although promising to recommitt to the marriage...Yet today...his lovely little firebird...broke down...and his dad while trying to help fix it really broke it....killed the radiator completely ...so now my H says he is going over there tonight to sleep so his dad will replace what he broke!!...I can't help feeling bad over this....Earlier tonight the friend who watches my kids had a bad fight with her H(they're in counseling...)and she called me in tears....I thought I had to call off...so I called my H at work to let him know I might be calling off and that I could give him a ride home if needed...and my H acted like he really didn't care??...I hate it when he does that...then he said I'm going to the old man's house tonight anyway...Huey will drive me there....so I just said Okay....and let it drop....am wondering if he really wants to be here or not???....Guess my space is needed....he has been trying....<BR>But back to that fight at my friend's house...I went over and it was all over....I talked to Steph and she was upset about the yelling...saying it reminded her of me and her daddy....but then said she was alright after finally crying about the fighting me and H used to do up till about last 3 weeks....she really needed to cry a bit I think....well everything calmed down while I was over there and the kids could stay after all so I can go to work....but I'm not callin my H about it since he didn't care if I was calling off or not anyway....<BR>Just been a BAD DAY all around here....I've been mad all day and just want to sleep thru it all....but oh well...we don't get what we want do we?...I"m going to work after all but due to it being so flexible will probably just do a short shift...4 instead of 6....I think I really need some quiet time after that....sigh....<BR>At this point I wonder if I should just give up on my H??...although he said he still loves me....but he still has feelings for the lying one...although I alredy know he hates being lied to...so seemed more like at this point all her bad side is really beginning to kill him on her....I know that's good and I should just sit here and wait....but after 9 months of all this crap....I just can't help feeling a fool especially with the emotional damage to my 10 year old and myself....What is he doing to fix all that????...Not much....sigh....Need some encouragement here....he swears that the affair is really over....been over for 3 months...I asked him 2 times in a row night before last and he said it was over...she does not want him now.....sigh.....God do I need to hear that all of this will be worth it.....