I spent the last hour and a half on and off the phone with a nurse at the clinic I went to last Thursday. She got the blood HCG test results for me, and in the 48 hour period, the levels did not rise. She said that they SHOULD have doubled in that time.<P>There is a 90+ percentile chance that this pregnancy is NOT viable. I will need another ultrasound to confirm. The fact that I am still bleeding (enough to need a pad now, and still showing clots) makes it all the more likely that my body is miscarrying.<P>I will be going to the children's emergency department at one of the local hospitals (via the maternity ward dept) where I will explain my situation, and they will perform another u/s. H and I have decided to go on Thursday (unless I am showing signs of infection before then). By then, hopefully my body will have completed the expulsion on its own, but if not, the u/s will determine if they will need to perform a D&C (is that the term?). It will be an in/out procedure (no overnights for observations.. thank goodness), but as usual, I'll have to plan on being there for the day (thank you Mike Harris for your health care cutbacks - major sarcasm intended).<P>So for all of you who have asked for the latest, this is the best I can give to you right now, since it's all I know (grin).<P>Karen

back to top (in case anyone who wanted the update missed it).<P>Karen<BR>

Oh Karen,<P>I am sorry you are going through this. Have you had a D&C before? It usually not an all day procedure unless there is complications. Mine was bing bang boom. Out in 2 1/2 hours. <P>Sometimes our bodies know what we need. You need to keep sharing your feelings. Is you H there for you emotionally? It was hard for me. I am recovering now and know that you will do better also. In the meantime, lean on your H as much as you can. Vent and post all your tears and fears. <P><<<<<Hugs to you and your family,>>>>><BR>L.

Topie,<P>I am sorry to hear this news. Please take care of yourself. <BR>This is a tough one. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

I'm so sorry to hear of this news.<P>I had a miscarriage between my 1st and 2nd daughters.<BR>It was actually....out of all 3 girls....the only pregnancy that was planned.<P>God works in mysterious ways.....it was not meant to be.<BR>Maybe He thinks your life just isn't ready right now for a little one to come along.<P>It doesn't ease the pain though......but knowing He has a plan for you.....helps a little.<P>(((((HUGS TO YOU)))))

Topie,<BR>I am sorry to hear your news. I am an RN and a D&C is a 10 min proceedure, unfortuantly I have had 6 Misscarriages and had to have 4 D&C's. so I am kinda a pro. Emotionally this can be very difficult, take good care of yourself, Like Orchid said you are in and out in 2 1/2 hours ( and hour for pre op...then an hour for recovery)..again I am sorry.<BR>I am now 7 weeks PG, but with my record I am NOT holding my breath. I wont feel good until 17 weeks. Take care MC

I still say a prayer for you. Last year I had a miscarriage which they thought was a tubal pregnancy. I had been trying for 15 years to have children. When they did the d&c and Laparascopy, they couldn't believe how scarred my insides are. The dr. felt it was probably pelvic inflammatory disease, possibly endometriosis. But since I just found out 2 weeks ago that my H had a PA with my best friend 6 years ago....I'm wondering if he did give me a disease. If that's the case and it led to this miscarriage, I will be even more devastated. The worst part is the OW is now pregnant. Really unfair. Take care of yourself and make sure to rest and let yourself cry.

I do appreciate all of your support in this, but I should clarify that I'm not overly emotional about this event. Odd? Perhaps. I admit that I wasn't too happy to find out I was pregnant yet again, but H and I talked it over, and decided that keeping it was our only option.<P>Mother Nature seems to have intervened. And I'm actually relieved. I've felt as though there was something wrong all along... I just didn't feel pregnant! Yes, of course I had some symptoms (and still do.. like the peeing thing), but that was about it. I never made an emotional bond to this pregnancy from the start, and I'm glad that's the case. I was going to wait until passing the 1st trimester mark before allowing the reality of it all to set in. Thanks to the concepts from here, I have learned a lot about mind over matter strength, and applied it to the pregnancy (if that makes sense).<P>Also, after suffering the sudden passing of our Andrew in September 2000, this seems so insignificant in comparison to me. At the beginning of our grieving process with him, I often thought how much easier it would have been if he had never even been born... that emotional attachment wouldn't have been there in the same way.<P>I'm sounding so cold hearted here. Maybe that's what has happened to me. I don't know. I'm not meaning to sound that way. I guess with all of the emotional turmoil I've been through in less than a year, I am just more capable of focusing differently.<P>How I will feel once Thursday comes and goes is a different story. We'll find out. <P>Karen<BR>

Topie<P>I really dont know what to say.<BR>I'm due in 6weeks with my first.<BR>Do you still live with your H? I dont.<BR>It sounds like youre going ok, but dont be surprised when you start grieving - really grieving - if you do miscarry. And if you dont then thats ok too.<BR>Thinking of you.<P>Dancer

The grieving process may not hit you until later...keep it in the back of your mind...you have had a lot to deal with this year and this may be nature's way of protecting you...kind of a detachment from what is happening. <P>The important thing is to take care of yourself physically. Get lots of rest and drink lots of fluids...<P>Hugs & Prayers,<P>Cali

((((((((((((((((((((((((((KAREN)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Big huge hugs to you. You are in my prayers.<BR>Maine<P>------------------<BR>IN the words of BOB the BUILDER!!" WE can fix it, yes we can!!!"

I'll just chim in here real quick.<BR>When I miscarried and had my D&C, I too didn't grieve, I didn't really grieve afterwards either and it wasn't that I didn't want the baby, I went through infertility treatment to get pregnant.<BR>Don't feel guilty if you never feel like grieving. You're not a cold hearted person just realistic, as was I.

Dancer: <BR>Yes, H and I are living together again. We have been in recovery for just over 1 1/2 months now. We have been trying our best to focus on us as a couple, our 2 yr old, and the 5 month old twins, and keeping this pregnancy on the back burner, so to speak.<P>Best of luck to you and your new baby! The first one is so full of new experiences. What I found my problem in that, was I wasn't really absorbing every little thing that my Andrew did as an infant.. so by the time his (now 2yr old) brother was born, I was able to 'chill out' and enjoy it more (grin). <P>Karen

Just wanted to send you a (((((((hug))))))) Topie. If you find you need to talk about it...the hormone changes can contribute a lot to how you feel afterwards too...I know our situations are different, but I'm here for you, OK? paintbox2001@hotmail.com<P>hugs, Paint.<p>[This message has been edited by Paintbox (edited July 17, 2001).]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hang in there! I have had three miscarriages as well, the 1st and 3rd pregnancies were planned the 2nd wasn't. The one that hit me the hardest was the first and second, by the time the third came around I felt some what relieved, like someone said in a previous post, god works in misterious ways, god has a reason for everything, maybe giving me and my H a child was not something he wanted for us. Maybe this A#3 is the reason we were not given another child. I had a D&C all three times, it wasn't painful, they put you to sleep, although the before stuff was painful, the somewhat contractions and bleeding was bad, I always miscarried at 3 months, exactly all three times. Back at the end of 2000 beginning of this year my H wanted a child, we tried, but were not successful, which was also a relief, because I was not ready for another child. BOy am I glad, although I would love another child, but when the time is right and I get checked out. I'm not sure what was or is wrong with me and why I miscarry, but I did grieve over what happended especially when I watch like "The Learning Channel" or something with babies, sometimes it digs deep inside where I have filed that situation, and brings it out, but I get over it. I'm not saying you should, but I know you will be OKAY. You have much support here. Be strong for yourself!!

Hi Karen. Thanks for the update, I worry about you.<P>You are not cold-hearted at all. You have been through so much this past year!! Don't worry about what you feel / don't feel. It's okay not to feel anything, you didn't bond emotionally to this child (like you said earlier). Yes, it might hit you later on - it might not.<P>You are doing great!! Good luck on Thursday. I hope things go smoothly for you. Hugs.<P>HbH

Topie,<P>I had to stay overnight when I had mine, but I had to be enduced into labor and then scraped. I hope and pray that yours is 100% less painful than mine, because mine was a helluva lot worse than giving birth to my son. I felt throughout my pregnancy that something was wrong also. It's intuition. I cried, but everyone says it should still bother me all of the time and I am glad because of all the circumstances surrounding it. It would've been worse on them. I had twins. God bless you and I hope that everything works out for you.

I was surprised to find this thread still on the front page. Wow. Thanks for all of the support.<P>I spent another 4 1/2 hours at the hospital today. I really hate emergency rooms, but it was the quickest way to get some answers. Most of the time was spent waiting for the bloodwork.<P>My HCG levels have definitely gone down, so I am certainly miscarrying. They did not perform an ultrasound (the HCG results showed them enough info). <P>My options are now these:<P>1- go to emergency again to wait for a spot in the O.R. to get the D&C done (could take 24 hrs easy)<BR>2- get my family dr to arrange an O.R. spot for me<BR>3- wait it out, while getting blood work done every few days to make sure the levels are still going down on their own.(and if they don't, do #2).<P>I've opted with #3. I really don't want to go in for surgery if I don't have to. It's too much, what with all the kids and no one to really watch them for me for the day. I could do it, but who WANTS to be put under for surgery if there was an option not to? Not me, that's for sure.<P>I'm relieved to know for sure now. Another baby was not something H and I needed now, and I'm glad mother nature saw it that way too.<P>Thanks again for all of the support. Now that I know what's going on, I'll be sharing this info with some friends and family, so I won't need to vent about it as much on here (grin).<P>Karen<BR>

You've been through a lot this last while. You are being very brave. Don't be surprised however if later on you find you're having some emotions you did not expect. I had a stillbirth about 12 years ago. For some reason I was very stoic during the hospital stay (c-section had to be performed). People were amazed at my strength. About a month later it hit me, like a bomb. I had a good support group, and everything was fine in the end. However, I was very surprised.<P>Obviously the timing was off, and I believe that God and nature know when things are not meant to happen sometimes.<P>I wish you the best.

I'm getting scared now. All was well when I first got home, but in the last 2 hours I've soaked through 6 pads. I'm not impressed. Along with that are golf ball sized clots. I'm just waiting for H to get home so we can go back to the hospital.. .ugh!!! I really hate that place. I've spent far too much time there in the last year (sigh!)<P>I'll update again as soon as I can.<P>Karen<BR>