Has anyone ever handled an in-law problem with grace? My mother-in-law of 13 years has always been obsessed with controlling things, but we have had a good relationship and they have helped us financially, etc. We are a 2-career family, and as a matter of fact were hired as a "team" and make the exact same salary. She has a problem with that- thinks I should be at home with the children--and I have ignored the snide comments over the years. She recently told my own mother over the phone that I am "not a mother, not a housekeeper" and will just leave my husband and children for a job. She told her that all I care about is career, and I don't care anything about my children and husband. My parents will now never speak to his parents again..they just can't even believe she would say those things, especially to them! I haven't talked to her since (a few days) and don't know how to handle the situation.

Talk with your mother inlaw. Tell her how you feel. Let her know that speaking to your own mother in the fashion that she did was out of line and unacceptable. You and your H should explain to her that you both enjoy working together and that basically it's not really any of her business.<BR>It's always hard to stand up to inlaws cuz you always take the chance of it coming back on your H.<BR>My mother has on more than one occassion helped out me and my H finacially but she does it cuz she loves us not cuz it then gives her a right to interfer in our relationship. She is very well aware of the fact that there are some things she isn't allowed to comment on, period!<BR>Speak with your H and ask him how you should go about putting an end to her doubl geussing you. <BR>If done right, she will probably be a tad offended at first but she'll get over it, probably.