My wife had an affair with a policeman and contracted a sexual disease, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and hopefully that is all. No I am wondering how this disease spread. If that policeman had sex with other ladies who did not have this disease then I am guessing he would not have this disease. I am wondering if the likelyhood is he got it from prostitutes, otherwise perhaps from ladies who also sleep around but someone has to get it from somewhere. This policeman is in China where my wife was. I am thinking it is unlikely that the policeman would have sex with some other married lady in China because he might be worried about the lady's husband findig out. So he probably had sex with other single ladies one of which had the STD or more likely from prostitutes? Maybe it's a stupid question but that is what I though about this morning. I guess my thinking is to tell my wife (only in my mind, not in real), how can you be so stupid as to have sex with this policeman who hangs around with prostitutes? Can you just sleep around with 50 people and then get a disease if non of those people have a disease?

Obviously it had to start somewhere but from all the information I"ve read, sexual transmission is all I could find out. <BR>I certainly hope you're doing something to protect yourself since for whatever reasons having gonorrhea puts you at a much higher risk for contracting HIV. Your wife is going to need to be tested for atleast the next 6 months to a year to make sure she didn't contract that too.<BR>One article I did read said that it is also possible to contract gonorrhea through linens, if any secretion gets on the bed sheets or towels after bathing it can be passed along that way, although not as commmon as sexually but just thought you'd like to know that too.

Rodger, why would you want to rub it in and call your wife stupid?<P>The A is over, right? I thought you were going to try and move past it. <P>The policeman could have caught it from anywhere, you don't know his sexual history, so who knows who he has been with. You shouldn't care about that now. Just work on your marriage, apply the Harley principles and do your best to get this guy out of your mind. It is only hurting your marriage.

Rodger,<BR>she contracted 2 STD's GC and Chlamydia both can be treated.<BR>Both are also required by LAW (in all states) to be reported by the doctor and the lab who did the test. Your wife's name, address ,phone number and place of employment will be furnished to the state (then the state furnishes the CDC with the information) by the doctor. IT IS REQUIRED BY LAW THAT THE DOCTOR AND THE LAB DO THIS..they have no choice (the lab will furnish her name and address and the doctors name). Your wife cant stop this from occurring. <BR>She will be notified, by the reporting agency. This is a process to protect the public. It is a pain for the Doctors, because they have to do this with in 48 hours of recieving the + lab result. The lab does it right away. SHE MUST GET TREATED AND RETESTED. GC is very serious, and cause can cause death if not treated. YOU too need to be tested. you are a carrier until treated..and you may not have any symptoms...now GO to your doctor right away. Good luck<BR>

Dear MyCross,<P>This is reported to who and for what purpose and when would the information be used? I am just curious. My wife did get treated and so did I. We are free of symptoms now. The treatment just involved anti-biotics for a week and that's it. It almost seems too easy such that no one would care if they got this disease because it is so easily treated.

Rodger,<BR>There are a lot of STDs out there. Anytime anyone has sex, including with condoms, since they do have a failure rate, you are exposed to that person's sexual history, the sexual history of their partners, and their partners...on and on in an everwidening circle. So, really, all it takes is one partner who has had one other nonmonogamous partner.<P>Some STDs, like Herpes or HPV (Human Papiloma virus [sp?}]) may not show up for days, weeks, months, years, ever, but you can still be carrying the virus.<P>I'm sorry you've gone through this.

Where the diseases actually start is a tough one. Doctors and scientists are still trying to figure out where HIV came from (the only theory that fits is from monkeys or gorillas... but for humans to get it from them, then something wierd must have happened.. I don't even care to think of the possibilities... although it could have been as simple as a poacher cutting himself at the same time, and getting the virus in his system). <P>Trying to figure out where the OM contracted the disease is wasting your energy that should be focused on your marriage. What is important, is that both of you got tested and then got treated, and are now cured. That's all that matters, isn't it?<P>I do understand your curiosity though.. but it would be impossible to find out. You know what's going through my head? Remember that old commercial for a shampoo called "Body on Tap".. one friend told a friend, and they told a friend, and so on, and so on, and so on. The mathematical equation is phenomenal. <P>Karen

Roger:<P>RE: Can you just sleep around with 50 people and then get a disease if non of those people have a disease?<P>Of course not Roger and you know that. He has to have slept with at least one person who was infected.<P>RE: "how can you be so stupid as to have sex with this policeman who hangs around with prostitutes?"<P>The fact that this man gave your wife STDs does not prove that he hung around with prostitutes. There are an awful lot of people in this world who sleep around. A very large percentate of them have STDs at one time or another.<P>I hope that both you and your wife are getting treated for the STDs.<P>You know, it sounds like you are just angry and looking to strick out. It's as though you are trying to build an argument so that you can use the word "prostitute" and "stupid" so you can degrade her. I can tell you that if my husband were to make a statement like that to me he'd be in the dog house. Yes your wife had an affair. But if you follow the MB concepts you must treat her with love and respect. This is neither loving nor respectful. <P>I know that it is hard to get beyond her affair. And from what you have told us, your wife is not very remorseful as she tries to blame it on OM(S), that she was taken advantage of. But lashing out in this manner is a BIG love buster. To express your hurt and anger in a manner such as "I am hurt. I go through terrible emotional swings and cannot get the video out of my mind." Is ok. But to say ugly things as you are tinking of is not ok at all.<P>Another point her. If the OM(s) is in China, then the health department will not be notifying him that he has STDs. This has to be done. As I recall you wife will not reveal his name. If that is the case then she should do to the the department of health so that they can mail him a notice or she can send it to him directly.But in the interest of public health he must he must be notified. A separate notification should be sent to his poor wife who will now have the deseases.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Rodger if you are diagnosed here in the states, and treated. It gets reported to the state health Dept ...The state in turns sends the information to the CDC (center of disease control) in Atlanta, GA. This is a federal reporting agency on all transmitted diseases...including GC and Chlamydia...I realize the treatment is simple (if diagnosed early) BUT GC can lead to death, and Chlamydia can leave a woman sterile. these are serious if untreated.<BR>Veneral Diseases because they are now treatable are still just that Veneral Diseases...and the MUST be reported By the doctor. So if you and your wife were treated here in the states, your names have been given. Rodger this is NOT a bad thing..this is what keeps these diseases in this country in check. and they want to make sure you have been RETESTED to make sure your treatment worked. That is the most important thing...sometimes it takes a couple of weeks before you are actually negative...get retested...

My wife's attitude is that she will not tell the guy in China he has the disease. She doesn't think it will have any big affect on the policeman or to his wife. She said if it does then it serves then right. She told me she thinks they would just laugh at her and also she doesn't want her realtives or friends in China to know what she did. My wife said she will never reveal the policeman's name and sees no point to tell him he has a disease. She knows he sleeps around so more and more people are getting infected by him. I think sterility for the man's woman is not a problem since the guys wife doesn't want children anyway. And in the man I heard they have few symptoms and maybe nothing will happen for many years. It is just by chance that my wife's disease was uncovered because she got a Pap smear done. She was never going to tell me about the affair. She is angry at the doctor for telling me about it. So in China they don't feel the need to report this kind of thing. There isn't much I can do to report it myself or to find out the guy's name. I know he works for the police department. So I could send a general letter to the police department and say one of their members has a sexual disease. Maybe if they told all their officers this then they woul all go and get treated. My wife thought this would be a stupid thing to do.

<B>Sexual Disease, STD, How does it happen?</B><BR>They are called <I>sexually transmitted diseases</I> for a reason.<p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited July 17, 2001).]

My wife's attitude is that she will not tell the guy in China he has the disease. <P>--------------------------<BR>RE: “She doesn't think it will have any big affect on the policeman or to his wife. She said if it does then it serves then right. “<P>It is going to kill them. It will also harm any children they have. What has this man’s wife done you your wife that she deserves to have an STD? I think sterility for the man's woman is not a problem since the guys wife doesn't want children anyway.<P>RE: She knows he sleeps around so more and more people are getting infected by him. I heard they have few symptoms and maybe nothing will happen for many years.<P>Doesn’t it bother your wife that she was infected? If you did not get treated then she would keep catching it back from you. <P>RE: She was never going to tell me about the affair. She is angry at the doctor for telling me about it.<P>Roger, I hate to say this but I don’t think your wife loves you or herself. She is more worried about her getting caught then she is about your health. Geezz she is more worried about getting caught then she is about her own health. <P>I hope that you are not buying into this.<P>You can send a letter to the police department in China if you like. They may or may not pay attention to it. If you put your or your wife’s name in the letter they may very well band her from further travel in the country. She may be seen as a carrier of disease and a person who does not behave properly. <P>Your wife does not need to reveal the name of this man to you to send him a warning. She could do it. It is the only human and moral thing to do. But from the sounds of it she is not worried about such trivial things as morality and humanity.<P>So, my suggestion to you is that you tell your wife that it would be best if she were to inform this man and his wife that they have these diseases. Then drop the subject. You seem obsessed with finding out that this man is. It does not matter. What are you going to do with the info if you have it? At this point your main concern is your marriage. Concentrate on your marriage. <P>I am sorry Roger but I am appalled at your wife’s attitude about not telling this man and his wife. In my book it is evil. Remember the story the other day about Mainemade’s friend who got HIV from the OW. Remember how terrible that was. Well, we have the same thing going here. You got STD’s from the OM. At least the ones you got are curable. All parties involved need to know that they are infected.<P>----------------------------<BR>Info about Gonorrhea, <A HREF="http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdgon.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdgon.htm</A> <P>info about Chlamydia <A HREF="http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/1680.50903" TARGET=_blank>http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/1680.50903</A> <P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

Are you sure this policeman is the only person she had an affair with? Maybe she hesitates to inform him or allow you to inform him because she isn't really sure he's who gave it to her.<BR>I don't understand wanting to hurt this man's wife just because she got caught. It's not right.

I am sure that the polceman was the only person and she caught the disease from him. I think sometimes my motivations are not proper. In a way I want this guy to know he has a sexual disease maybe not for his own good but just to tell him he has a sexual disease and that someone knows about what he did. But he may not care or he may be revengful and try to do something. Also it is next to impossible for me to find out the address of anyone in China to tell the information to. My wife will go to her deathbed not telling me who this person is because she doesn't trust me with the information. Maybe when I am feeling donw I might confront him even though I know he might just laugh since he hated the fact that my wife married a foreign man instead of a Chinese man. This gave him extra pleasure to have sex with my wife and this gave me extra pain for him doing this to me. My wife doesn't want this to blow up, she says she realy thinks the guy is bad now and wants nothing to do with the whole thing. She has forgoten all about this and never thinks about it. She said if I keep bringing it up, I will only go crazy and also will drive her away. So I have to consider all this. I should just drop it but it is not as easy to do that as to say it and think it. I could send a note to someone to say that some policeman in a city in China has a sexual disease and probably that would get laughed at because apparently it is a common thing for the police to do this kind of thing.

I am sure that the polceman was the only person and she caught the disease from him. I think sometimes my motivations are not proper. In a way I want this guy to know he has a sexual disease maybe not for his own good but just to tell him he has a sexual disease and that someone knows about what he did. But he may not care or he may be revengful and try to do something. Also it is next to impossible for me to find out the address of anyone in China to tell the information to. My wife will go to her deathbed not telling me who this person is because she doesn't trust me with the information. Maybe when I am feeling donw I might confront him even though I know he might just laugh since he hated the fact that my wife married a foreign man instead of a Chinese man. This gave him extra pleasure to have sex with my wife and this gave me extra pain for him doing this to me. My wife doesn't want this to blow up, she says she realy thinks the guy is bad now and wants nothing to do with the whole thing. She has forgoten all about this and never thinks about it. She said if I keep bringing it up, I will only go crazy and also will drive her away. So I have to consider all this. I should just drop it but it is not as easy to do that as to say it and think it. I could send a note to someone to say that some policeman in a city in China has a sexual disease and probably that would get laughed at because apparently it is a common thing for the police to do this kind of thing.