Historical perspectives:<BR>Some haunting anniversaries coming up:<BR>W first met first OM 16, 2000, & had sex with him in our home on July 20 – then she became obsessed (her own words) & she made numerous phone calls, even many from her cousins 400 miles away, some at 11:00 to 11:30 PM to him before they finally got involved, then his buddy also got into the act – she did the oral thing & also what some would consider deviant sex, something her & I have never done. There was a time when <BR>She was with them both – one in the AM , & the other in the PM – at our home. She & I were active during this same time usually in evening & morning. I have received a lot of feedback that she may have a sexual addiction problem. She had mentioned on D/D that she had this feeling that she could date anyone – she has since denied saying that. I think a big part of her motivation was the ultimate feeling of independence. She says that she feels she was seduced & these guys were predators of sorts – it’s like she is in denial that she accept any responsibility – she blames her increased desire for sex on me because I showed her a dirty video (one I had for 12 years & she had seen before) & we watched “Real Sex” on HBO. I’m sorry, I don’t think I can accept this blame, do you? Bye the way she is 48 & I’m 51 & her two friends were 32 & 36 --- Big MLC going on here I know! She is 5’5” and weighs 130 lbs & is 34D cup size. She normally wears tops from the GAP, size “Small” – with VS breast enhancing bras, her breast look like two balloons (with nipples) about to pop through her top from the pressure & fullness.<P>I have been a little preoccupied with all this & my commission income is at very low point. My W said she was not buying anymore like she used to. She needed two dresses for a couple weddings & 6 weeks ago she went to a second hand store with designer cloths and bought 6 dresses for $96.00 -- said they were such a good buy.<P>Last night she comes home with wedding & shower gift & I HAVE FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT openness & honesty i that she never left a message or voice mail telling me what she is up to -- we have a small battle over this -- I ask her if Again this morning we have more discussion about openness & honesty -- <BR>Last night I found in the trunk of her car a bag from the GAP with a pair of pants & a top. A bag from the Limited with pants, short & two tops & then this morning I find receipt from Ann Taylor for a top. She has taken over our D room & in one dresser she has around 95 tops -- all purchased within the last year as she has lost 25 lbs.<P>I ask you, is this an adequate supply of summer tops?<BR>Peace,<BR>HH<P><BR>

HH...<P>Time for an allowance and take away the plastic, my friend!!<P>Trueheart

Hi HH,<P>This type of compulsive shopping disorder is another type of addiction. My H went from daytrading, on-timers, ea/pa to ebay/ubid....... the need to buy/trade/sell...... this is a problem he and his mother both have. <P>Can you get your W some professional help? There is a greater underlying problem here. I am trying to help my H identify this also. Oh yea, changed jobs 6 times last year alone. <P>These types tend to not care about all that hard earned money and take a lot for granted. See a pattern here? So help her identify the real issue and work on it. <P>Hope this helps. Let me know how you are doing. Sounds like both of our mates have similar issues. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<P>

Thanks for your responses!<BR>She is very sensitive to any kind of Criticism. Any suggestions on best technique to objectively present this to her? <BR>Thanks again!<BR>HH <BR>