I have been plan A'ing my butt off, and H was very happy to see me when I arrived at work today. He came over to talk to me and let me know he has business dinners tomorrow and Friday. Now I thought that was nice for him to come and let me know. Things just seemed NICER between us. <P>Then later this afternoon H was in a meeting and the OW came into the office. I looked at her as she came thru the door then looked away back at my computer. She looked down right away and walked looking down at the floor and went thru the computer room and right out the back door with out looking at anyone or saying a word. I'm told that she didn't even peek into H's office like she normally does. <P>I was also told that the last 2 times I wasn't at work she came by twice both days. <P>They are working on a project together but I thinks she could just pick up the phone and call him. <P>ACK!!!! this just sucks becasue I don't want to LB with H about her. I did that this weekend. I want to be professional at work. I have worked there 10 years and even if H and I don't make it, I will still work there. <P>Now I know what will happen, she saw me at work my desk right next to H's office and she will be feeling insecure so she will be pouring on the charm tonight thru e-mail or phone. This seems to be the pattern when I run into her. <BR>I'm stuck working at my other job for a friend who had surgery. <P>Of course my head is spinning. And I'd just love to drive to her house and whack her across the face with a 2x4. <P>Why can't she leave my H alone. I think he was slowly comming back to me. He was so nice and sweet and caring this a.m. when I got to work. <P>She has already had 3 H's of her own why can't she leave mine alone. <P>I'm so upset. <P>I'll try to be calm and hopefully H will ignore her. <P>She called the house Monday night every 5 min. hanging up before the machine picked up. I answered one time and she hung on the phone not saying a word and then hung up and the calls stopped. <P>I'm so proud of H he didn't flinch or run to he e-mail when this happened. He didn't know I answered the phone either, but not once did i see him go to his cell phone or e-mail. <P>I hope she turns psycho. on him and drives him back to me. <P>What a night to be at work this sucks. <P>

Maybe you could turn the ringer off your phone tonight, or on nights that you suspect OW is going to try and call.<P>(I usually give good advice but tonight I feel a little bit devious )<P>You know that if what you are doing is working, then keep on doing it. Your ability to control your lovebusters is the best work you can do, ya know? It really is.<P>Can we imagine OW going out that back door and pacing in the parking lot - puffing on a ciggarette, trying to conjure up away to cause trouble? Let's picture her OUT of CONTROL and lovebusting to death, demanding your husband leave you, etc. etc. etc., and you are the one your husband can always count on to be in control, loving, supportive, etc.<P>I think you should think about what you could do for a "deposit" tonight when you get home from work....<P>Hang in there - the chances are that this affair will not last. You will.<P>TnT

Thank you TNT. <P>Yes I can picture her out of control. <P>That helps. <P>She looks like a mean little troll, I'm hoping she will turn on him and be the mean little troll I know she can be. <P>Thanks I feel better

I'm really bad at remembering names of movies and actresses, but I can really picture a very immature floozy flopping on her face! It helps sometimes. I hope you have a good night and a better tomorrow.

Call me silly, but WHY would you still want to work there? assuminmg it all ends and goes to no contact, which the odds are really in your favor for, you guys would be well advised to get another job to break off contact whatever the cost. Why not start now for yourself instead of torturing yourself this way?<P>Do you think if you leave it will get worse? Well, it could, it could also give her enough rope to hang herself on too. Whatever happens, you can't control H's bad decisions whether you are there or not, right? And you are not responsible for them, but why do this to yourself? Odds are when it's over you'll be job shopping anyhow, trully. Something to think about.<P>Hang in there.<P>

I'm staying here because I have been here 10 years and my 2 best friends work here and it is a great job. <P>OW has only worked here less than a year and the turn over in her position is very high. No one likes her and I hear that she isn't doing a very good job. Odd are she won't last very long.<P>H has been here 15 years and I don't mind working with him even if we split up. He is in meetings and busy most of the time anyway. He says he doesn't mind me staying here because I do a very good job and he wouls have no problem working with me.