H and I were watching Voyager tonight (yes, we're trekkies). A commercial comes on tv advertising some booklets you can get for free to help teach your kids about abstinance. Good idea? Sure it is.<P>So H starts talking about how it's more important to talk to the kids about abstaining AND using birth control. Sounds good to me! Then he went on and on about all of the different diseases out there, and how easy they can be caught, etc, etc, etc.<P>Sounds like a sane person talking, doesn't it? I gotta tell you all, it took all that was in me not to retort, "then why did you have unprotected sex with the other women during our separation?". That was hard to do. I know me, and I know I will bring it up in conversation some other time (when we're discussing past events).<P>I don't know about you, but being in the 'fog' seems like a lousy excuse for what he did.. but it seems to be the only reasoning.<P>Karen<BR>

wow! I am proud of YOU!!! I know myself too, and it would be extremely hard for me to bite my tongue. I would have to bite so hard I would bleed. good for you! I'm sure that will pay off. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Have you both been tested and plan on retesting in 6 months?<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hi Infidelity:<BR><B>Have you both been tested and plan on retesting in 6 months?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I have been tested, and I guess the 6 months mark will be up in another 3 months or so. H has not been tested, and he always has an excuse for it (his severe fear of needles for example... I've seen him faint at the sight of one, so it's not a lie). I'll be going for a colposcopy at the end of August, so I'm sure my obgyn can do another test for me then.<P>Nothing came up in my first tests, so to the best of my knowledge, all I would need to get done now is HIV, which is via bloodwork.<P>Karen<BR>

Good for you not LB'ing. <P>That is my biggest struggle right now.

It's a shame to have to use yourself as the STD petridish when your H understands the dangers. I'm not sure if I would call discussing this with him a LB. If he cares enough about your children to want to discuss this topic with them, then I'm sure he would like to see both of you around and in good health for a while longer. <P>Even so, I do offer your congratulations in biting your tongue. It's very difficult at times.<BR>

Woo-hoo!! Alright Karen! Great job! I know that must have been tough to do! <P>There's so many times I feel like chastising my H or just throwing in a good zinger now and then to something he says, but I bite my tongue, knowing it would be an LB.<P>Excellent work! Keep it up!<BR>HbH

Karen - good job. It took a long time for me to get to the point where I could bite my tongue in similar situations. Sometimes the hypocrisy is bizarre.<P>WAT

Way to go Topie!!! To add to that thought, you will be delighted in a year or two when those times actually become ones you may laugh at together and own your own private little jokes. I am not making light of it, but part of the recovery process, IMHO, will be when the situation is no longer a LB and you can share that comment humorously without him being offended. I get little jabs every now and again, and even though they are to let me know she never forgets, they are done in a loving way so we laugh about them. I hope you get there. They have their purpose, and they are not LBs anymore. Bottom line is...I am happy for you and your *abstinence*!! <P>Trueheart

Yo Trueheart - so what WERE you thinking when you made similar remarks? Did you just not make the connection?<P>WAT

HIYA WAT!!<P>I didnt make the remarks, but realized why they were being made!! We talked about them, what she was thinking, where they came from, but the end result was, realizing that WE were/are able to connect and talk about anything. She no longer fears bringing things up, and that is one of her ways to let me know something is on her mind.<P>Trueheart