Hi all,<P>I guess I'm feeling a little chatty tonight.<P>Anyway, this may sound a little weird if I'm the only one doing it, but here it goes:<P>Does anyone else have arguments with their WS when they *aren't* around? My WS always comes to talk to me, she wants to come home and I launch into a very well presented speech that covers all the MB basics, everything I've learned about relationships and about the details of our relationship cast in a new light. It always comes out really great and I surprise myself and her with my new found wisdom. I always have a profound answer or comment to everything she says. It's an argument that I never, ever 'lose'. The problem is that this only happens in my head.... Now tell me that I'm not the only one who does this,... please! ;><P>All the best,

Redon,<BR>I do something very similar except I do it with my word processor! Ever since I was old enough to write, I wrote down my feelings and life's experiences. When I got older, I started keeping what's known today as a journal (as a teenager, it was called a "diary"). <P>Writing down your feelings and even imaginary scenarios is a good technique for venting your pent up feelings. Lots of people do it; some people write their stuff down, then tear it up and toss it away. Others, like me, tend to keep them and 'journalize' them. <P>I imagine that what you are doing is very similar, except you are rehearsing in your mind, almost like the rehearsal of a play. It's a good idea to get your thoughts together, in case your WS comes to visit. At least, you'll have some things ready to say to her that you feel have some validity.<P>However...if you start to have serious arguments with yourself, then I'd say you've gone a tad too far! (gently kidding!)<P>Hope my answer helps you...<BR>Hugs,<BR>winny

well.... do I have to answer? <P>Yes. i have conversations out loud. I really think I'm going insane sometimes. BUT i actually think it's VERY therapeutic. I get to tell "him" what I am thinking - sometimes good - the perfect, most convincing, logical, intelligent and persuasive speech (and sometimes I am rehearsing for a real conversation I know is coming up) and THEN sometimes VENTING that I cannot do to his face.<P>And yes, I do this in a journal as well.<P>I don't think we're crazy.. At least we're not sleeping with OP! That's crazy, unhealthy, and immature. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Redon,<P>Yeah I do exactly the same. I Imagine scenarios where my wife comes back and is actually remorseful for her actions, and actually does something about the situation. In reality the fog is thick and she is either blind to / or doesn't want to see the pain she causes.<P>I find it nice to write a mail, or a lettter on my PC to my wife. I tell her all the things that would potentially be love busters. I'll then just leave the file on my PC for a day or so, then I'll just delete it. I don't know why but I seem to be able to relive a lot of tension, or pent up emotion when I do this.<P>What's your story anyway? I'm always interested to hear other blokes (who are the BS) stories. I get inspiration an d hope knowing that i'm not the only one out there. And that i'm not some sort of sucker for carrying out plan A. <BR>As someone else on another thread out there, we are the winners. We are the ones that have the courage and strength to carry on, even when others would have turned their back when the going gets tough.<P>Take care,<P>Plec.

I play out my major LB's in my head. Okay, I'll admit, some of them come out even now (but I'm getting really good at avoiding them...woohoo!!). But as we all know, old habits die hard, so it's an automatic thing for me to think that way. This difference now, is that I am finally able to act out all sorts of scenerios in my head, not just the LBing. <P>To put it more blunt, the good thoughts I try to actually act on in reality, but the bad thoughts I keep in my fantasy LOL!!!<P>So, if you're crazy for doing this stuff... then I guess we all are, eh? LOL<P>Karen<BR>

Dear Redon,<P>Just popping in from the pregnancy/child board (since that is where life and my H decided I should be).<P>Anyway, 8 years ago or so my H didn't come home for dinner. I had cooked and was very angry that he hadn't called me to let me know not to bother. So, bumped and banged by way around the house reading him the riot act--out loud to an empty house.<P>I grabbed my purse and was heading out the door to a movie (leaving dinner on the stove, turned off, but going to rot there before I put it away). As I left my house I blammed right into a polic officer knocking on my door. He said "I rang the bell twice, and I was about to knock but I wasn't really sure I wanted to interrupt that good argument you were having." I was so embarassed I bought $50 dollars worth of whatever he was selling!<P>Mrs. Job

Ah yes. I spent an hour yelling/playing out scenarios with my H this morning in my car - by myself. Actually, I seem to do this everyday. It is very theuropeutic, it helps get my feelings out in the open.<P>So, if you are crazy, so are the rest of us. LOL<BR>HbH

Yep, I think that we all do this. Don't worry you are not alone. <P>Just think of the great practice you are getting. When you do finally get the chance you will have lived through it so many times that you will handle it so well.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare