Sad_n_lonely is my H. Yes he lied BIG time! I knew there were lies before I found out for sure about the affair in February. He left the receipt to the flowers he sent her on the dresser, pobox #, safe deposit box, her pobox #, etc. What hurts is the lies that he said to me and tried to keep a straight face. I could see that he was lying, lived with him for 23 years. I found a sexually graphic card lying on the driveway addressed to her next to his vehicle. Thankfully, the kids didn't find it. <P>Yes, a liar has to live with himself the rest of their lives. I am so glad I am not in their shoes. How can they live with themselves knowing what they have done and GOD has seen everything? My husband has no remorse in the affair at all. He continuously reminds me of this, that the affair happened for a reason. Yes, to fulfill his EN and to betray his family. Maybe one day he will feel remorse.<P>One thing is that he is being honest with me in telling me things that the 2 of them have done. I can't handle some, they hurt so bad! He just comes back with thanks a lot for me being honest to you and this is what I get. I am thankful for the honesty, but the truth hurts like h***. Don't you see H how this hurts too? That is why I talk to Jennifer about things, she doesn't criticize me and helps me. H is not there to protect me yet, he still does protect the OW now and wants to protect her in the future. I don't get it at all. <P>Besides the OW is lying to her husband every single minute of her life. She has not told her husband about the affair as yet, I have known for 5 months. Their affair started in June of 2000 (first connection to each other) and I was told the first connection was the start of the affair. H told me after 5 minutes on the internet he knew there was something special about her. But the OW is living in lies every minute and seems to not have any remorse about it at all. She wants to keep it a secret from her husband, My H seems to be OK with it and has asked me to not send the OW husband info I have to show him what his wife is doing. How can one profess to be a christian and know that GOD is seeing what she is doing to her husband and family and she has no remorse about it at all. She should come out clean and do it now. The hurt will come eventually, and I know he will be upset with her (this is her 2nd affair). So why prolong the agony here and with her family, and get it over with. There is something mentally wrong with what she is doing. I will not sent the H the evidence I have, per Jennifer Harley saying. But if H and I separate or D, the package will go. I have no bad feelings about sending the info, her H needs to know and I don't know what kind of woman she is to keep my H her dirty little secret. Yes, there is some revenge, but mostly I hate for her keeping my H her secret. And don't understand why my H wants it this way and not to spill everything out. Our kids are hurt big time, let her family know what is happening and the consequences will prevail. The trust in her will not be there after she tells all, but do you blame everyone for not trusting her. I wouldn't, but I would forgive and just keep a close watch on her to help her get through this. Also, she will probably need psychological help. There is something mentally going on that is not right with her. Maybe she needs medication, for manic depressive personality, or bi-polar or something. She is a grandmother to 2 little grandgirls. Why kind of grandmother can she be knowing every minute of her life she is a liar? I wouldn't want this for my grandkids. She has to watch what she says all the time, and keep herself in control. What kind of life is that. With this in herself, how can she be happy, show her family everything is alright, I bet the family knows something is wrong. <P>Liars are Satan and if they ask for forgiveness and deep inside want to be better people, they will receive if they are honest with GOD. Everything has to be said and known.
